Welcome back aboard Passengers and welcome back to our continuing series on “Sweetheart Scammersâ€. I continue to
take this issue to task because so many of my very close, beautiful (inside and out) sisters have fallen victim to this insidious and heartless crime perpetrated when a lothario-style con artist worms his way into the heart of a victim using romance as the hook rather than financial gain. Additionally, these robbing Romeos scour church groups, social clubs and any other venue where financially well-off widows congregate.
SAMPLE ONLINE NOTE:
I’m God gift. I am totally single and looking, searching through some Profiles suddenly I came across yours it Seems Very Nice to Me…Well am James by name, and I Hope you are doing Great Today and Your Day went as You have always wished…I’m Open minded,Caring,Respective,Easy going,Compassionate,Tender Loving, affectionate ,Trust Worthy ,Honest and God Fearing. Am looking forward to meet an Intelligent, Honest, Caring, and Faithful, loving Affectionate, loyal and understanding woman and I don’t know maybe it’s you? I was always told that beauty is in the eyes of the Beholder. Today, I can truly say if I was asked to define beauty I’d say it’s you. I’m not referring to your physical beauty NO. The minute I saw your profile , It is as if God opened my soul, my spirit , my heart , my very essence of being, Just so I can truly comprehend the glory of your Inner beauty. I pray that my words are touching the depth of your heart because It’s the only way you will truly know and believe that we maybe Soul mates. If you really believe in LOVE at First Sight, if you want to have a future with a man of God who naturally knows your heart, then take my heart and let embark on a journey of bliss pleasure, companionship, friendship, growth, love, and beautiful Moments. I would like to know more about you? …You can email me J.Sean76atyahoo.com
Take good care Of your self and God Bless you,
The above is some of the “BULL” I am talking about. Some are just gigolos after gifts, support and the obligatory nookie, while others have a well- rehearsed plan to deplete the victim’s financial reserves.
They do this by a convincing ritual of online courting the emotions of someone who, perhaps not aware of their need for love, has not had such flattering attention since their own heady youth. Everyone wants to be loved, and their egos are naturally inflated when a younger, attractive man shows a gentlemanly interest. Their friends become jealous and this only stokes the fire of romance.
Whatever forces create the aura of romance, these guys exude it. Imagine though, you have lost your husband (or wife) of many years and, even though he/she wasn’t a saint, the divorce or their passing created a void in your life. You are alone. Years have passed and you are starting to become more independent. You don’t rely on your friends or grown children for advice as much as when you were first left alone. In fact, you started to secretly resent their treating you like a child, as well-meaning and considerate as they might have been.
You get chocolates and flowers and invites for romantic candlelit dinners. You are torn between guilt and hope. You can’t really believe that someone could still fall for you, wrinkles and all. People forget that our internal emotions do not change even though our bodies wear down. We thankfully subdue some of them out of practicality and decreasing hormonal levels, otherwise teenagers wouldn’t be the only ones making out at the mall. But love, and the need to feel loved is timeless and vulnerable.
Hooked on this new drug, and still insecure, you find yourself subconsciously wishing to hold on to this arrangement by whatever means possible. Bedroom antics may play a part or not. Remember and this is VERY IMPORTANT especially as pertains to on-line dating, it is the emotional dependence that is important for the cons to establish with you. This is easy when a relationship is actually one-sided though appearing otherwise. They have nothing to lose so naturally they are the dominant force.
You spend lots of time with them on-line to compensate for lack physical locality. They in turn, continue to act just like the suave and debonair men you read about in your romance novels, never burping or farting.
Your children, feeling a combination of embarrassment and resentment that you are seeking love on-line may try to 
lay guilt on you for seeking love and happiness in that manner, are wary and critical of you. They may not openly oppose such a union but talk amongst themselves about their reservations. They wish to be protective but it comes off as meddling in something you feel they could not possibly understand. Their distrust of your judgment is a personal affront. You become more secretive and stop discussing your personal actions with them.
They may live at a distance, making intervention difficult. Regardless, the scammer knows just how to deal with them by breeding mistrust after attempts to ingratiate himself with the family have failed. It becomes an us against them battle. After all, he says, they don’t care about your happiness, just their own comfort and control about what they feel is the right way to meet someone.
Anyway, soon the Casanova con will want to take you out of your rut by proposing exciting new ventures. You have lost your friends and family so what could be better than starting a business, owning horses or investing in some sure-fire winner. You have to, in fact you want to, show your support and trust for his financial acumen. Anything to keep them around and that feeling alive.
You sign loan documents on your assets with just your signature, not his. He doesn’t want your money, just your trust. Well, if you insist, he couldn’t insult you by not taking some. Just a short-term loan mind you, with his verbal guarantee.
How long before both he and your money are gone? No telling. But they are sure to occur at the same time. Will the family ever get back together? Barring a suicide we can only hope.
Now, let’s suppose you are dealing with someone who has been scammed as I have on way to many occasions. Rather than forcing the victim to return to you and admit their foolishness simply let them know you understand they are the victim without rubbing it in with the “I told you so”. Imagine if you went through a marriage and divorce where your spouse’s only motive for marrying you was to have children and then run away with them. Then imagine that your mother warned you about the no good so and so from day one. How would you feel about being reminded? It’s not like you have forgotten or ever will.
Get over it so they can as well. So what? The money is gone. Pretend it never existed at least as far as guilt is concerned.
Your efforts to seek justice are hampered by the victim’s inability to act. They are immobilized by shame and lingering disbelief. They cannot physically recount to authorities how they were duped. Every action they took was seemingly of their own accord. After all, they signed for a loan and gave monetary gifts. How do you prove deception or fraud?
About the only way to avoid this crime is to do a background check of lover-boy (or girl) before he gets his hooks too deeply into the emotions of the impending victim. This has to be before he alienates the family. Red flags should be raised when he is from out of town, has no actual employment or means of support, is in your opinion too young or good for you or your parent, lives in a dump or rents below his attire and attitude, or has no other circle of friends.
The cost of a police check is minimal compared to the potential losses, both emotional and financial.
I should properly note that while the example above paints men in a bad light, just as many men are defrauded by money-grubbing female cons. Human nature relating to vulnerabilities or avarice are not gender specific. And my brothers remember, in the on-line game, you may think you are chatting with beautiful young woman of country of de overseas when in-fact it is probably a member of the male species with the same body parts as you in the cotton Dockers. And as Forrest Gump would say…That’s all I’ll say bout dot…
Well, my fellow passengers I’m afraid I was a bit long winded today, but really I am really feeling deeply sadden about what has happened to some of my friends who would be in the category of, “that could never happen to me!â€â€¦.but it did. But, let’s you think I judge, oh heck to the no! We all want love, that can’t live without him/her love. And the hope of finding that or thinking you have found it…well, it could cloud ones judgment so please…in this thing called the quest for true love…be careful.
All Aboard, The LiFeTrain!