Still N Luv…

regards11

2 comments on “Still N Luv…
  1. Hi Chucky,

    It is nice of you to care enough to want to hear my story. But 1st may I say something. It doesn’t matter where the right person lives. Across town or next door or across the country. If God brings you the person your need in your life He surly can handle the the moving arrangements if it were to ever get to that.

    It may not be me but whoever she is it will happen. Don’t limit anything and loose God’s blessings. We are in a world full of technology and it can help all things work. I have a 86 year old senior citizen that travels to Woodbridge at least 1 or 2 times a week. His cousin owns a club and he likes to go up and play security guard. He takes his 74 year old sweetheart with him a lot. The but lost there spouses years ago. But they don’t know their age. 🙂

    All I am saying is for me I have traveled all my life and driving a few hours or 1 1/2 from my house is nothing compared to staying home alone every night with no one to talk to and no one to visit me.

    Spend 2 yrs and 9 months without dating and see if you are willing to travel to find the possible best friend you’ve been wishing for. I rent my Townhouse so I can be mobile and I work for the government so I can move anywhere. So remember nothing should ever be a problem unless you want it to be one.:-) Everyone tried to get me to buy a house.

    I moved back to VA in 2003 and before that was in ST. Louis for 7 years.

    Now what’s up with this website? I really love it.

    I am at work and need to get back to it but.

    Your words really move me. I felt like you were looking through my soul.

    Well Mr. Daniel where do I start. Before I took my last name back it was Francine Benton then Francine Daniels. (crazy huh!) When I got divorsed I new if I didn’t want him I didn’t want his name. Cause I’m not Tina but I felt the same pain as she did. God got me through it.

    So after 2 painful marriages I swore never to marry again. It’s funny how living in sin seems so right until God taps you upside the head. My Grandma alwasy told to to never say never becuse you don’t know what God will do. Boy was Fannie Allen right.

    I’ve had several relationships since my divorse and it wasn’t bad but I’ve been walked out on so many times that I thought it was me. My journey to St Louis was my 1st step to God and being raised in the Church didn’t give me a foundation. But a met a Pastor and his wife that walked the walk and taught me and Pastor Smith was such an inspiration to my faith.

    I tried everything to get out of the assignment as a army soldier. Why whould I got to the midwest I didn’t want to go but had to and that is how I got my start to my walk with God. I never had it before. I think if a person is abused as a child that God will always look out for them until one day my eyes were open.

    Sometimes I forget how strong I am. God save my life becuase the man I was with for years just help move me and in 2 weeks he was gone to support the troops and he never came back but poor stupid trusting me didn’t have a clue. Even after a year I thought he was at some secret locationa and God sent someone to smack me up side the head cause grandma is gone and some body had to do it. Karen Frankie just gave it to me good and I cried for 2 days. took off from work and went back and cried at work.

    Well, I got through it and It was all God. But one more thing. Pastor Smith gave me some oil to bless my new apartment and I didn’t do it. I mean why, I pray and have this new found faith so who needs oil. I’m a Baptist right. Well, when I moved to my now home I found my oil and blessed each and every window and door and the bed and each place I could think of.

    Chuckie, I can’t remember all my words and everything I said but I remember asking God to keep anything bad for me out of my home all evil and anyone coming in my home that did not mean me good. You’ve really got to know God to see this one.

    Chuckie, I was sinning big time. This man was still legally married. But working you his divorse. See how easy it is to sin. I new it was wrong but I didn’t care I started slipping away from God when I met this man. I prayed only when I said grace and then sometimes the food would be ice cold. 🙂

    But I wanted God back and when I blessed my house I gave God my will released back to him. I didn’t know this. But things changed the minute the man came back with boxes and things. I mean it happened just that quick. I din’t see it till much later.

    I’m o.k. now and so happy I did what I did. But never really heard from him. I was told he had a stroke and move back to TX with his mom to help her and to get back his health. I called and called and called and never spoke to him. He couldn’t just say I have to move on. I’ll never understand it. He did live me 3 phone messages much later. After his friend insisted. But he also stepped away from friends he had know for 25 or 30 years. They were asking me where he was and that was the most difficult.

    I never hated him because he never hurt me physically or any other way while we were together.

    I was hurting because I knew I was sinning and I know God forgave me the minute I asked for it but It is not the kind of thing I do and believe in. He was still legally married because of divorse pending issues but that meant he was still married and I still sometimes think well you know what I must feel like. But once God forgives me I am not suspose to ever think of it but I have a conscious so I tell my story to friends and people who might get saved from my past sin, and I am up front about it. NO! I don’t go shouting it from the roof top or find strangers at the mall.

    I’m o.k. just lonly and God keeps blessing me with everything I don’t even ask for. I’ve never been one for money or cars or wealth. I just what to be able to have a normal life.

    All I’ve ever want since I was a child was just to have my family love me and then grew up just wanting the same thing from the men that were in my life.

    So why is the one thing I want the only thing that eludes me. I could loose everything tomorrow and I’d be o.k. because a house can’t bring you a blanket when you’re cold, a house can’t bring you soup when you’re sick, a house can’t tell you a funny joke when you’re down, a house can’t talk to you and ask how you’re doing and a house can’t call you on the phone when you have not one to talk to.

    Do you have any idea what it is like to only have contact with others when you are at work. Come home and be so alone. I study at 5 am becuase I work out and walk and am so tired when I get home. But still I don’t sleep well.

    I have so much support in my life but Chuckie I still have to come home sometime. And well here I am. Once a year I look for someone on match.com and tried chemistry and then found this one and I do one month and then go back to living my life and waiting on God.

    So, I have 3 senior citizens I help sometimes and others in my life. If my friends or seniors are sick I buy them spiritual books to read or I’ll read to them. Take them food or anything to cheer them up.

    At work my boss lets me be on any kind of committes I want and I stay busy and still I have to go home. The weekends are the worst. My daughter has 2 kids but they are 13 and 9 and don’t have much time for me. I don’t like weekends much. And I don’t like Holidays much either. I am a people person so sitting around or going to movies by myself is not fun. I like to laugh and be silly and I am a fun person but it is hard to have fun alone.

    I don’t need a man to take care of me. I work and make money and can do the same thing a man can do for myself but I need something I can’t give myself. One thing. COMPNION-SHIP! I’d like to have someone to pray with, someone to worship with and someone to study with. If I got excited about something I found in the Bible I want someone to know how I feel and maybe get excited too.

    So here you’ve got a little about me.

    With all my heart,

    Francine

    P.S. What’s up with you?

  2. Carmen says:

    Not necessarily a comment for the blog. I’m in agreement with Francine’s first paragraph. It will find a way if it’s meant to happen…Our will (we as human beings) aligned with God’s will.
    –Carmen