Merry Monday! Hey Passengers, let’s start the week out right, Let’s do an “Attitudes!” check.
In my humble opinion, When you extend pure love to everyone with selfless motivation that is an attitude of kindness. When you send good wishes and pure feelings to those who are in deep sorrow, that is an attitude of mercy. When you see the virtues rather than the weaknesses in people that is an attitude of compassion (my personal favorite). When you bless and uplift someone even as they defame you, that is an attitude of forgiveness. When you tolerate a situation and take responsibility as well as give cooperation even when not appreciated, that is an attitude of humility and self-respect. This week, remember that every second, every moment and every breath of your life is nurtured by attitude.
Hey Passengers, stay tuned and keep hoping aboard the Train, got some good stuff coming your way.
I felt like some got this the first time and some didn’t quite see what I was saying. So I thought I’d recycle to see if there are any other perspectives.
Well passengers, true to my word…Let’s continue to discuss the subject of relationships this week. Today I’d like to share one of my Chuckie-isms with you. In my own mind I’d like to be remembered as one of the great philosophizers of our time. HEY!!! Stop laughing…on the Net everyone can be a star (LOL!).
Anyway, today I’d like to talk about eggs, my eggs. When I meet someone that I think I might be seriously interested in I have to consider a couple of things.  First will there be rejection, and can I trust this person with my eggs. Let me share, I have these dozen (metaphorically speaking) eggs. On each of these eggs is written one word. These words represent what I need. To share a few there are the words, attention, acceptance, appreciation, affection – and respect, respect for each other’s deepest needs and wishes – Those are the things I look for during the foundation setting phase of a good relationship.
As I age, I now realize that love is not based on the amount of adrenaline we feel coursing through our bodies, but rather, if we find the needs present in some the words written on my(our) eggs. I will know I love someone when I am trusting in that person to give them my dozen eggs to safeguard and I will know they love me when they give me their eggs in return.
As you know eggs are fragile and have to handled with care. Once broken it is impossible to put them back together again as the nursery rhyme goes. Unfortunately, one of the few times I thought I was in love, I think I mistook that first rush of hormones for true love. But that can’t be our ultimate test of whether love is real.
Anyway, learn your eggs, protect your eggs…they are the most valuable things you have…once broken…they get harder and harder to replace.
I spoke of rejection earlier. Because fear of rejection is one of the most powerful fears known to man (and woman). It’s like a dream many people have. Basically, you take your eggs and step out onto a tightrope to inch towards a person you want to love. You’re holding your eggs, six in one, six in the other for balance. These are the eggs you plan to give to that special someone. Sometimes, halfway across the rope you realize the person has turned their back on you. You might start to lose your balance, and worst of all, you might feel a little stupid. Finally…you just fall…and then you wake up to reality. Fortunately there is help and hope if you just remember a couple of things…and here comes another Chuckie-ism. As smart boxers do, take the eight count…more on that later. But, basically just accept the fact that you just got knocked down.
What I do, and what I want to share with you, is get up brush off and remember. Realize that you simply must filter out unmotivated, commitment phobic, time wasters. As TD Jakes said, and what I subscribe to is:
There are people who can walk away from you. And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you: let them walk. I don’t want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone. When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.
Well, in closing…you might be wondering where or what is this week’s topic coming from, “Relationships”. I have more than a few close friends going through some things and as your “humble” conductor I just want to send out a few thoughts that keep me going as I wait for my “missing rib” …LOL…The one who will treat my eggs as if they were her own..wink, wink.
Good Morning and as we say here on the Train, “MERRY MONDAY!”. Hey, I hope you had a great weekend! As we head into another Monday here’s a bit of good news to fight off the Monday Blues, There’s a Turkey out there right now just waiting to co-exist with your tummy this Thursday! Pass the white meat puh-leeze!
As we kick off this Merry Monday let’s remember what she said:
Life has to be lived, that’s all there is to it. — Eleanor Roosevelt
Well passenger’s let me pass you a deck of cards as the Train leaves the station this morning…This is a deck of life cards; Yep let’s play some cards. But first, let’s be honest, we don’t really want to work at life. Work is hard. Work is tiring. We want to have fun. We want to play! We want to have a good time and have all the things we want. Why not play the game of life? We are the dealers. We hold all the cards. Somewhere along the line, somebody cheated us. They told us we were needy, helpless and dependent. That is baggage. We must put it down in order to deal ourselves a good hand. We must also know the rules. We must play fairly, dealing with everyone the way we want to be dealt with. We must expect to win. If we entertain failure at any point, we lose. When we see a foul, we must call it. We don’t have to fix it, but we must call it. The final and most important rule is that we must follow all the rules, all the time.
When we play by the rules, I win.
Hey Passengers, as you board the train this morning “Merry Monday”….
“Chuckie”, Spike, said, But before he could say anything further, I said, “Shut up Spike”, “I got this!”
Spike just laughed and started going through the take-out delivery place brochures. “Look!’ I said, you are supposed to be man’s best friend, and you, my best friend! I know, spike said, that’s why I am getting ready to call for, let’s see, what will it be Chuckles, Italian, Chinese, how about some Thai?
SPIKE!, I am going to get this meal right this time and you, her (my date for tonight) and I “WILL” enjoy this!
DING DONG!
Can’t wait to see my lil sweet as I walked to the door and opened…., AHH! You jumped me, knocking me to the floor and getting me in a headlock in one motion. AHH! “What are you doing”is all I could ask you as you pinched, tickled and punched me. “Get off of me!” Get OFF of me Gurl!
How could you, you, ….pig beast! What is that smell! are you trying to cook…”AGAIN!”.
Look, stop…I taped Oprah for you, I laughed hysterically. And I got it right this time!
Just then Spike came out of the kitchen with the fire extinguisher. Sup Miss Missy, he said. Sorry to hear about your little bout in the bathroom the last time he cooked. Hey Spike-ster, how are you she said. Well, gurl, it’s like this, thankfully that dish he was ….er….cooking? It’s toast, so what will it be? “Chinese” she said.
I just looked at you both with disgust as I slipped in the Oprah tape. Sweetie Pie, I want to do something different tonight. Tonight… let’s Nestle, not wrestle as I picked you up and carried you to the couch covering you with the big blanket we share on movie night.
Billy Graham is being interviewed by Oprah Winfrey on television. Oprah told him that in her childhood home, she use to watch him preach on a little black and white TV while sitting on a linoleum floor.
She went on to the tell viewers that in his lifetime Billy has preached to twenty-million people around the world, not to mention the countless numbers who have heard him whenever his crusades are broadcast. When she asked if he got nervous before facing a crowd, Billy replied humbly, “No, I don’t get nervous before crowds, but I did today before I was going to meet with you.”
Oprah’s show is broadcast to twenty-million people every day. She is comfortable with famous stars and celebrities but seemed in awe of Dr. Billy Graham.
When the interview ended, she told the audience, “You don’t often See this on my show, but we’re going to pray.” Then she asked Billy to close in prayer. The camera panned the studio audience as they bowed their heads and closed their eyes just like in one of his crusades.
Oprah sang the first line from the song that is his hallmark “Just as I am”, without a plea,” misreading the line and singing off’-key, but her voice was full of emotion and almost cracked.
At that point spike got all emotional and started singing the song:
When Billy stood up after the show, instead of hugging her guest, Oprah’s usual custom, she went over and just nestled against him. Billy wrapped his arm around her and pulled her under his shoulder She stood in his fatherly embrace with a look of sheer contentment..
I once read the book “Nestle, Don’t Wrestle” by Corrie Ten Boom. The power of nestling was evident on the TV screen that day. Billy Graham was not the least bit condemning, distant, or hesitant to embrace a public personality who may not fit the evangelistic mold. His grace and courage are sometimes stunning.
In an interview with Hugh Downs, on the 20/20 program, the subject turned to homosexuality. Hugh looked directly at Billy and said, “If you had a homosexual child, would you love him?” Billy didn’t miss a beat. He replied with sincerity and gentleness, “Why, I would love that one even more.”
The title of Billy’s autobiography, “Just As I Am,” says it all. His life goes before him speaking as eloquently as that charming southern drawl for which he is known.
If, when I am eighty years old, my autobiography were to be titled “Just As I Am,” I wonder how I would live now? Do I have the courage to be me? I’ll never be a Billy Graham, the elegant man who draws people to the Lord through a simple one-point message, but I hope to be a person who is real and compassionate and who might draw people to nestle within God’s embrace.
Do you make it a point to speak to a visitor or person who shows up alone at church, buy a hamburger for a homeless man, call your mother on Sunday afternoons, pick daisies with a little girl, or take a fatherless boy to a baseball game?
Did anyone ever tell you how beautiful you look when you’re looking for what’s beautiful in someone else?
Billy complimented Oprah when asked what he was most thankful for; he said, “Salvation given to us in Jesus Christ” then added, “and the way you have made people all over this country aware of the power of being grateful.”
When asked his secret of love, being married fifty-four years to the same person, he said, “Ruth and I are happily incompatible.”
How unexpected. We would all live more comfortably with everybody around us if we would find the strength in being grateful and happily incompatible.
Let’s take the things that set us apart, that make us different, that cause us to disagree, and make them an occasion to compliment each other and be thankful for each other. Let us be big enough to be smaller than our neighbor, spouse, friends, and strangers.
All is forgiven little boy is all you said. Just fiction Baby is all I said, Just fiction, …and we both fell asleep on the couch. When we awoke, Spike told us we owed him $20 plus tip for the Chinese.
Hey fellow LifeTrain Passengers, this weekend may we Nestle, not Wrestle!
Here’s a few success quotes I stumbled upon recently:
The purpose of life, after all, is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience. -Eleanor Roosevelt
There are no secrets to success: Don’t waste time looking for them. Success is the result of perfection, hard work, learning from failure, loyalty to those for whom you work, and persistence. -Colin Powell
Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles that one has overcome while trying to succeed. -Booker T. Washington
I am not judged by the number of times I fail, but by the number of times I succeed. And the number of times I succeed is in direct proportion to the number of times I can fail and keep trying! -Tom Hopkins
There is more in us than we know. If we can be made to see it, perhaps, for the rest of our lives, we will be unwilling to settle for less. -Kurt Hahn
He who has itchy butt, will soon have stinky finger – Chuckie Daniel
Well passengers, if the following isn’t a mirror moment for me that I need constant reminder of. I write and read this laughing all the while. I’ve had some shall we say challenging moments where the following read is just what the doctor ordered. Read and hopefully be blessed as I am.
Have you ever found yourself at odds with someone. Well, I have this week. I guess we’ve all had instances like that. While I know they must be dealt with in a Godly way, it taint not always easy. So I submit the following as a reminder and example of Jesus (WWJD).
Most times it seems that our only choice sometimes is to get caught up in the situation or walk away. My ego often whispers in my ear that I MUST prove I am right. If I walk away, the other person will win. The ego keeps us from recognizing there is another choice. Whatever situation confronts us, we have to recognize our right to be at peace; at peace with ourselves, you know…Me, Myself, and I…
I have to be ever mindful as I suggest you do, is to understand that the need to be right and meet discord head on begins within. It is a need that stems from feelings of powerlessness, unworthiness and a lack of love. It shows up in life as arguments and confrontation. When we can concentrate that negative energy into getting peace in our hearts and minds, we draw peace into our lives. When discord and disharmony present themselves, we can stand firm. When we let go of the need to prove to ourselves, nothing and no one can disturb the quiet and peace of our minds.
So I look into the mirror today and remind myself:
Get handle on your anger big guy before it controls so that you will not only help yourself succeed in your personal life, but your professional one as well. Anger is a strong feeling of antagonism, hostility, or displeasure toward someone or something. It is an adopted behavior that takes on many forms including verbal, physical, and emotional outbursts. Anger can have many stressful effects on not only your life, but on others around you. Some effects of your anger has manifested itself as follows:
* Marital and family problems
* Poor work performance
* Feeling negative and uneasy
* Lack of energy
* Restless sleep
* Lack of appetite or too much of an appetite
* Tendency to gossip
* Possibility of losing family and friends
So, deal with it…and be at peace. All come on, I know you guys have talked to yourself before… LOL
Deal with that ego and may today bring you peace, the peace of God! All Aboard… “The LifeTrain!”
Fellow passengers if you have been anywhere near a TV or a newspaper over the past months you cannot help but see how the “D” word is affecting our society. Life pressures, unemployment, and the war (The Father of Jesus bless the families impacted at Fort Hood).
Given this escalation of sadness and despair I decided to do a series [again] on Depression. In support of this topic and as a community service to my fellow passengers we are going to stop at a station called ” www.applesofgold.info “.
But first, let me introduce you to one of my MANY best-est frains, Dr. Diedra Hayman. I want to put forth her professional information so that you will appreciate more the resource available at today’s station stop which again is, applesofgold.info. I also want to tell you how she has helped me to work through some of my own life impacting events such as divorce and loss of family to name a few.  “WOT!!!” you thought I was perfect and without issues?  Well, actually if you’ve been a regular on the train you know your humble conductor is not without issues. But, I gotz frains! And one of my best listening Frains [we really are friends] is Dr. Dee, so allow me to introduce her so that perhaps she will one day be your Frain.
Dr. Diedra Hayman completed her doctoral studies in Counseling Psychology in 1998 at the University of Florida. Her APA-approved predoctoral internship was completed at the University Counseling Center at Virginia Tech. After teaching various forms of psychology at the college level for 6 years, Dr. Hayman was accepted into a prestigious postdoctoral fellowship at the University of Rochester Medical Center (URMC), where she gained valuable experience in clinical practice with pediatric patients and their families in a medical setting. She also received training in family therapy techniques from some of the finest, most noted family therapists in the country. She is currently a Licensed Clinical Psychologist in Indiana and Missouri, where she currently practices.
Prior to participation in the URMC fellowship, Dr. Hayman provided online psychological consultation for three years on a site she created called Apples of Gold Online. She has assisted many people from all walks of life, and with many concerns. Dr. Hayman has clinical experience, interest, and training in post trauma issues (sexual assault/abuse recovery, tragedy aftermath, sudden death of loved ones), psychological aspects of medical conditions (cancer, HIV/AIDS, diabetes, heart disease, high blood pressure, pain management), depression, anxiety, stress, relationship issues, and sexual orientation issues, among other things.
Dr. Hayman works from a biosychosocialspiritual orientation. This means that she takes into account a person’s physical, emotional, social (including relevant family history), and spiritual status in order to assist with presenting concerns. She believes that every concern a person experiences is impacted to a greater or lesser extent, by all these factors, and her suggestions may address any or all of them in order to help someone reach their stated goals.
Now, having introduced my Friend let me share with you a recent interview I did for you my fellow passengers with the good Doctor.
The Interview:
CHUCKIE: You just published a website called Apples of Gold. What is the focus of your site? DR. DEE: The website (applesofgold.info) is designed to provide free psychological consultation to people who may need some guidance on issues in their lives, and who may not be ready to actually go see a therapist face to face. Or they have questions that really don’t NEED an appointment with a psychologist, to have answered. The site also provides positive lifestyle encouragement so that readers will be encouraged to life more healthy lives.
CHUCKIE: Did you just say free? Dr. DEE: Yes, free.
CHUCKIE: May God bless you…
CHUCKIE: Why did you call it “Apples of Gold� DR. DEE: That comes from Proverbs 25:11, which says that a word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver. I am hoping that the advice and counsel on lifestyle, as well as the personal advice and counsel I may provide to those requesting my service, will be wise and in harmony with the teachings of scripture.
CHUCKIE: When you talk about “positive lifestyle encouragementâ€, what exactly do you mean? DR. DEE: Well, the body and the mind are in close sympathy with one another, and what impacts the one, impacts the other. So I advocate the use of the eight natural remedies, in order to bring the body, the mind, and the spirit into harmony. An easy way to remember the eight natural remedies is through the acronym “NEWSTARTâ€. That’s not something I developed, but I agree with it. The remedies are: Nutrition, exercise, water, sunshine, temperance (moderation), fresh air, rest, and trust in God. If we take care to incorporate all these things into our lives, we will tend toward better physical, mental, and spiritual health.
CHUCKIE: What can people write to you about? DR. DEE: People can ask about anything that has to do with mental health, relationships, spirituality, and even some physical concerns. I wont always have the answers, and I am careful to make that clear when I respond to a writer. However, I can usually point them in the right direction.
CHUCKIE: Is this like online therapy? DR. DEE: No, its not. There are some issues that only require someone professional providing an educated response, and those are the issues best suited for my site. Online therapy is available on some sites, and it can be helpful for some issues, but it really isn’t appropriate for other issues. For instance, when someone is suicidal, they may want to share some things online, but really they need someone face to face who can assess them properly for risk, and take steps to prevent them from taking their own life, if possible. I don’t collect contact information other than an email address, so would have to encourage someone in that state to call the suicide crisis lines, and I provide those numbers on my site.
CHUCKIE: What kinds of things have people written about, then? DR. DEE: I have had people write about relationship problems, sexual orientation concerns, and depression is another big one. The most difficult issue I have had to address was a woman who had dissociative identity disorder, what we used to call multiple personality disorder. That is an issue that must be addressed face to face over a long period of time, so my task with her was to build up enough trust so that she would listen to my encouragement that she get into a therapist. And sometimes that is the best service I can provide, because overcoming the hesitation to actually get into therapy is huge for many people.
CHUCKIE: You mentioned depression. The holidays are coming up, and I bet the number of depressed people writing you will increase. Why does that happen? DR. DEE: Depression is really a multifaceted issue with many causes, but holidays do tend to be a time when more people become depressed. That happens for many reasons. First, holidays are usually associated with family, and if a person happens to be single, for instance, the holidays can be difficult. Family get togethers are usually a time when pressures are placed on the single to “find someone and get marriedâ€. Other people become depressed because they have lost loved ones either through death, divorce, or breakups, and so the holidays point up that loss. Then there is Seasonal Affective Disorder, which is a form of depression that arises because of the shortness of the days during the winder months. The lack of sunshine actually contributes to changes in the brain which lead to depression in some people.
CHUCKIE: How can a person tell if they are depressed? What are the symptoms? DR. DEE: Major depression requires at least five of the following symptoms: sadness (but in men and in children that may look more like irritability than sadness), low self-esteem, changes in eating or weight (either increasing or decreasing), changes in sleep (either too much or not enough), thoughts of death or suicide, lack of motivation, loss of pleasure in anything, you may move more slowly or more quickly (psychomotor retardation or agitation), problems with concentration, feelings of guilt that are unreasonable. Some people can become so deeply depressed that they actually begin to hear or see things that others don’t hear or see, or they become delusional. And those who are depressed form the highest percentage of those who commit suicide, although not every depressed person becomes suicidal.
CHUCKIE: So depression is really very serious. How is it treated? DR. DEE: The most effective treatment for depression is cognitive behavioral work. Basically you have to work on your thinking, and work on your behavior. This can be done with a therapist, but many people can do well getting a good self-help book such as The Cognitive Behavioral Workbook for Depression: a Step by Step Approach by William Knaus, Control Your Depression by Peter Lewinsohn, or my favorite, Depression: The Way Out, by Neil Nedley, MD. That last book advocates the use of the 8 natural remedies for bringing the life back into balance. Medications are also necessary to help some people manage their depression, and these can be obtained from a primary care doctor or a psychiatrist. Sometimes, a combination of medication management, therapy, and lifestyle change is necessary, and in severe cases, sometimes hospitalization is needed. But it’s the most common mental health disorder, and usually responds well to treatment.
CHUCKIE: Well Doc, thank you so much for hopping the train today…you know I love you gurl. Will you come back soon? Dr. DEE: Love you big guy…Thanks for having me. …and yes I would love to hop the train again sometime soon.
Hey passengers, Merry Monday! As we grab that brown bag (lunch) and bolt out the door, I am assuming you woke and hopped the train already…Am I really being presumptuous here or what!?! Don’t hurt my little feelings (LOL).
Anyway, remember this, having a new week is not about going back to work, It is about thanking the Lord for granting us one more day on this earth !
God bless you all! And this week…SHINE!
As we come to day two of our week, here’s a little something to wind down and chew on, but first a quote:
In order to cooperate with life you must learn how to forgive, how to pray, how to give, how to receive, how to adjust; seeking nothing, giving everything, loving all people, trusting God, living each moment fully.           —Donald Curtis
We may not have all the money we want. We may not live in a fancy house or drive an expensive car.  Maybe we’ve yet to find the right man or woman. Maybe we have a few extra pounds on our thighs or belly. This does not mean life is over. Actually, it may not have begun. What we must do is live from the inside so the outside will become more fun. Give what you have in order to get what you need. Take what you get with an open heart. Let’s begin (if you aren’t already) to trust God to bring for the desires of our heart, forgive all people for what you believe they have done. Begin each day with a prayer of gratitude, love all people for who they are. Possess no things or person; speak only of the things that you want. Life is willing to cooperate with you, but you must know where to start.
things you have…once broken…they get harder and harder to replace.
up Spike”, “I got this!”
on Depression. In support of this topic and as a community service to my fellow passengers we are going to stop at a station called ” 
Dr. Hayman works from a biosychosocialspiritual orientation. This means that she takes into account a person’s physical, emotional, social (including relevant family history), and spiritual status in order to assist with presenting concerns. She believes that every concern a person experiences is impacted to a greater or lesser extent, by all these factors, and her suggestions may address any or all of them in order to help someone reach their stated goals.
!