One thing I’ve learned in every human relationship is that it’s important to let the small things stay small. Not every problem needs “solving.” Some just need a friendly ear. Or maybe a hug. Nothing smooths out the rough spots in life like a little sympathy.
For these little bumps in the road, I like to apply what I call “the other kind of sorry.” Not “I’m sorry,” the apology. But “I’m sorry,” the expression of compassion.
When did our human moments of frustration become such terrible burdens anyway? It seems sometimes as if we can’t share any small sadness without someone rushing in either to criticize savagely or to “coach” us through the problem.
While evolving from criticizing to coaching is certainly a step in the right direction, I think it’s time we backed off a bit and questioned just how much coaching we really want to be doing. Small problems, after all, call for small solutions. Big solutions only serve to make small problems into bigger ones.
It is the nature of humanity to have our moments of stress, of misunderstanding, of minor disagreements. Nobody gets along perfectly with anyone else all the time. Taking a practical view of these not-so-enjoyable moments can go a long way toward gently paving the path of any relationship.
“He forgot to take out the garbage this morning? Gee, I’m sorry.”
“She ruined your favorite shirt? Gee, I’m sorry.”
Simple.
But it’s easy to turn small problems into big ones with just a few “innocent” questions…
“He forgot to take out the garbage this morning? Really? Does he do that a lot? Have you explained to him how important it is to you? Well, he should listen if it’s that important to you. Does he often ignore your feelings like that?” Etc., etc.
Hey, sometimes people forget stuff. Sometimes people make mistakes. Sometimes life gets a little hectic. These are temporary problems that don’t need to be dragged through the mud.
The problem is that the human mind, when anxious or upset, is easily led deeper into “enemy” territory. That “fight or flight” impulse is a strong one. So asking someone who’s feeling just a bit overwhelmed in the moment, “Does he/she do that a lot? Why would he/she do such a thing?” is tantamount to poking at a bruise. Why aggravate the injury?
I’m not suggesting that we should ignore serious problems. Genuine physical and emotional abuse are far too common and need to be addressed in a decisive way. But it’s important to recognize the difference between a problem that needs to be handled and one that just needs to be sympathized with, laughed about, and forgotten.
Every life has its ups and downs, and the downs won’t get to us quite so badly if we don’t make more out of them than we need to.
If you find that you and your friends (and especially you and your partner) end up sailing through at least 80% of those bumps in the road, I’d say you’ve managed to surround yourself with some fantastic people. Hang on to them. Relationships like that are life’s greatest treasures.
And…The Divorce rate would be a whole lot smaller…
Hey Passengers, when someone lightens up your life just by their presence, you can be sure they are emitting a very positive energy. When someone puts a damper on the meeting or a conversation, you can be sure there is some hidden inner baggage which contains sorrow and darkness. More and more as I face some folks that bring a cloud of darkness to the table, I am trying to not take it so personal.
Question, which do you bring to the party? A little light or a little dark? A lot of optimism or a little pessimism? I read that in olden days, before one switch could illuminate a whole city, one candle had to be lit by another. So now when I become aware that I am carrying a little darkness, I try to remind myself that perhaps it may be useful to spend time with someone whose inner light is already lit, and stays lit in most circumstances. Eventually I am reminded and continue to learn the art myself, and then I try to serve as a candle to others here on the LiFeTrain.
Join me today…be a beacon of light for others today…
Sleepy…Sleepy…you are getting sleepy…Hypnosis requires relaxation….sleepy…
I have sum-zing to say…
If we know a little of ourselves, we will have realized that we are more than meets our eyes in the mirror in the morning. What we see is not what we are. We see the form not the content, the body not the soul, the matter not the mind. In quiet and profound moments, we innately know that is true. But we forget. The world tells us and wants us to believe that we are what we see - and we take the easy way out. We believe. That’s why the awakening of spirit and the flowering of our spirituality means we have to keep reminding ourselves, a hundred times a day, I am a soul - not a body, I am an eternal spirit - not a perishable piece of meat. I am quality, not quantity. I am [your name] Chuckie. Otherwise, freedom is not possible. And if we are not free, in the deepest space inside our own being, we cannot be truly happy.
Keep this in mind this we as you hop off the train…Now…1…2…3
At the bottom of each page of the Train there is a Next>> that takes you to previous days posting… Check it out, you can go all the way back to day one of the Train leaving the station. You didn’t know there was a LiFeTrain Daily Newspaper? CLICK
Yep, sure is…Also, you can search for topics by typing in a keyword or two in the search box located on the right. So, Happy Trails…Hope this helps as you ride the Train. OH! coming soon…Carol’s Car and Scoundrel Notes. You won’t wanna miss these madame’s coming contribution to the fuel of the train…Stay tuned!
AND FINALLY! This train belongs to all, and all means…well “ALL”. Feel free to submit works, suggestions and whatever for consideration!
Come on by the Church, the Deacon, Deacon Dan… has the doors open and the Pastor has a POWERFUL message.
Godly living requires that we have strong, biblically based convictions. When we are firmly anchored in God’s Word, we’re ready to face whatever challenges come our way.
Here at our online service, the Deacon and I have a vision of bringing people into the knowledge of Jesus Christ and building a community of believers who are devoted to the making and maturing of fully committed followers of Jesus Christ, in the power of the Spirit, to the glory of God the Father.
Of course a church online is not as good as a church of believers. Church service helps us serve. However, A cyber church can be a light in the great darkness, especially, and since we all know the internet offers access to the best of the best and the worst of the worse and evil now available to mankind.An internet church can carry His love to those who may never visit His house. Praise and worship are attitudinal so please come on by and join us in on-line praise! CLICK
I have been told in very lengthy and graphic detail by my girlfriends (women who are my friends and in most cases married) that childbirth can be a very painful, yet beautiful experience all in one instance. However, as a man I could never, ever tell you what it is like to actually have a baby. I can recant all the verbs, adjectives, nouns, pronouns and whatever else is a part of structuring the communication of the experience. Yet, I will never, ever truly (thank god) be able to tell you form experience what it is like to give birth.
I’ll never forget that night. The News station I was watching was reporting how close the presidential race was, how the various mathematical scenarios could play out, etc. etc.. In an instance the station cut to series of commercials. Just like that, drink diet coke, buy dial soap, drive a Lexus, trust us you dopes, we’re number one…blah blah blah blah…
When the station cut back there was a very abrupt announcement.
Ladies and gentlemen, we now have a new President, Senator Barack Obama has just secured the amount of electoral (and popular) votes to become the next President of the United States. He has just been elected president of the united States of America.
I actually cried. I didn’t even know why at that very moment, but it felt as if some weight had been lifted from my body, my mind, spirit.
Earlier I told you I would never be able to tell you what it is like to give birth. Having admitted that, I must confide that unless you have lived as a Black man you just could not understand what it is like to finally be validated as a full fledged American…finally. I’ll stop there.
I never plan to use the train for a political platform as a general rule. I’ll leave that to FOX News, CNN, USA TODAY and the Washington Post for you to get information to form your opinions. When you hop the train I want you to be able to escape for a while. However, the other night we elected a new commander in chief and whether or not you agree with the choice of our fellow Americans, we in fact have a new President, one who looks like me, President Barack Obama. Hummm, that’s the first time I have written or verbalized that reality out loud…
Please “PRAY” that our Commander in Chief will be lead by the Holy Spirit in all his decisions for “ALL” Americans.
Hey passengers, sorry I played hooky from my duties last night. But if ya don’t know…now ya know…I am a sports nut. I try not to incorporate much sport stuff here on the train, but I had to share that after 6 games, the wizards finally won one!
Oh, and incase you missed it, coming soon, my experience at the Negro league Baseball Museum. Check me out stealing home the legendary Sach Paige!
Some of my closest friends I have met on the LiFeTrain. I have also met them in person, that was much after the close friendship had already formed but I don’t think that changed things too much. Such is the case with the Train Scoundrel, Ms. Geri. We met on the LiFeTrain and now we are the best of friends, actually quite close. If you haven’t seen some of her craziest and sometime wisdom filled comments, they are a must see so check’em out.
Geri Lost her Father this week after a lengthy illness. Please keep her and her family in much prayer as they prepare to say good-bye to the family patriarch.
Since I’ve met her on the LiFeTrain and in person, she has treaded lightly upon my life, seeing, understanding but never imposing. Thoughtful, independent, gracious in both victory and defeat after our many debates. Like the scent of a rose her untroubled spirit has imparted a lasting fragrance upon my life.
Basically, she stinks!
Online friendship are a sign of the times, I’m glad the LiFeTrain Scoudrel is a great friend of mine…
Who gave their lives so that we can freely “BLOG”…
Veterans Day is an annual American holiday honoring military veterans. Both a federal holiday and a state holiday in all states, it is usually observed on November 11. However, if it occurs on a Sunday then the following Monday is designated for holiday leave, and if it occurs Saturday then either Saturday or Friday may be so designated. It is also celebrated as Armistice Day or Remembrance Day in other parts of the world, falling on November 11, the anniversary of the signing of the Armistice that ended World War I. (Major hostilities of World War I were formally ended at the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month of 1918 with the German signing of the Armistice.)
So today, the flag proudly flies on the Train for all those who served thier country so well, for all those who gave the ultimate sacrifice so that I may freely Blog at will. God bless America, and may God bless our new Commander in Chief.
Hey Passengers, Merry Monday! Well I hope you had a great weekend as I did. Although, I must confess, mine continues until Wednesday! Add a Merry Monday day off for sanity sake and throw in Veterans day on Tuesday and walla, a four day weekend!
As we start this week off let me share some things that will be coming up on the (LiFe) train this week. First, I had a little cry recently as did some other guys I’ve run into since my “little” cry. Check back tomorrow as I share, “why I cried” (last week). And just a hint, it wasn’t because the Wizards lost to the Knicks Friday night.
As we start this week off let me share some things that will be coming up on the (LiFe) train this week. First, I had a good cry recently as did some other guys I’ve run into since my cry. Check back tomorrow as I share, “why I cried (last week). And just a hint, it wasn’t because the Wizards lost to the Knicks Friday night.
Also, coming this week, I’ll be sharing with you my recent experience visiting the Negro League Baseball museum and the National Jazz Museum located in Kansas City, MO. Just a little initial about the Negro League baseball museum. Through the inspiration of Horace M. Peterson III (1945-1992), founder of the Black Archives of Mid-America, a group of local historians, business leaders, and former baseball players came together to create the Negro Leagues Baseball Museum in the early 1990s. It functioned out of a small, one room office in the Lincoln Building, which is located in the Historic 18th & Vine Jazz District of Kansas City, MO. It quickly incorporated, built a board of directors and staffing, and created a licensing program to support operations.
And to close things out on a Merry Note on this Merry Monday, let’s talk about the subject I so often espouse here on the Train, The LiFeTrain. That subject would be “CHANGE”...a time for change. Our country is undergoing great changes, some good, some not so good. However, like it or not, as long as we have breath in our bodies we’ll have to deal with change. This week we’ll look again at dealing with change. Tell your fellow passengers to be sure and hop the LiFeTrain this week, I think we’ll have some great looks at dealing with “CHANGE”.
In the mean time. let me share with you what a couple of my friends have to say about the subject to of change (Dale Degrote and wife, Shirley Murdock). Time for change:
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One thing I’ve learned in every human relationship is that it’s important to let the small things stay small. Not every problem needs “solving.” Some just need a friendly ear. Or maybe a hug. Nothing smooths out the rough spots in life like a little sympathy.
didn’t know there was a LiFeTrain Daily Newspaper? 
