When I last posted, I mentioned to you about a lesson I learned. Well, most times I don’t really know what will happen, or what opportunities will arise, until I arrive at that moment. I’ve found that you can plan and plan and plan, but there is just no way to know how things will turn out. And if my plan doesn’t include an opportunity that I didn’t see coming, I might miss that opportunity. Sure, I could continually adjust my plans based on changing circumstances … but then, what’s the point of the plan?
Instead, I have forgone the need to define outcomes, and have focused on enjoying the journey. That doesn’t mean I’m not motivated to do my best or forgo planning, for we all know, those who fail to plan, plan to fail. Thus this does in no way mean that I take a lackadaisical attitude toward my work (although I do get lazy, like anyone else). It means that I’m motivated by the work, that I enjoy the activity, not by the destination, goal or outcome.
“Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.†– John Gay, English poet & dramatist
Another example is fitness: while I do set goals with myself (lose my bellyfat, for example), I have learned not to worry so much about those goals. They’ll come, or maybe they won’t. For example, I once weighed over 400 lbs. People who knew me then say, how’d lose the weight? I have to truthfully say that I just started out on the journey of 1000 miles. I didn’t plan to lose weight as I had unsuccessfully done before. I just started and became manic about working out, refusing to even think about weight loss. I literally woke up one morning and realized that NONE of my clothes fit; my waist size had gone from a size 60 to a 42. And I all I did was enjoy the journey, never focusing on the outcome, Because had I done that, counted the pounds, I would’ve become discouraged and returned to my crack (Hagen Daz). Also, I’ve learned to focus on eating enjoyable foods that are healthy, and stay active on most days. As a result, I don’t sweat it when things don’t go according to plan — because there’s really no set plan. If I eat some treats at a party, it’s no problem. If I don’t go for a workout one day, no sweat. I’ll get back to it the next day, and even then I might still eat some DAZ for the pure joy of it all. I still get fitter and healthier, and most importantly I enjoy the journey along the way.
I have to be continually open to What Emerges
This is the hardest part about this approach: If I’m not always striving for a particular outcome, I wouldn’t know what would happen. This lack of knowing is difficult — people like the security of predicting and controlling the future with goals and plans. Letting go of that security is scary.
Here’s the thing: that security is an illusion. We have no way to predict the future. We cannot control it. We can try (and we do try), but we fail, all the time. We chalk it up to “plans gone wrong†or making mistakes or not planning for contingencies, but the truth is, we just need to admit we can’t control or predict the future.
That’s scary, I know. But it’s the truth.
And when we admit we can’t predict or plan for or control the future, what’s the next logical step? Nope, I am not saying in any way to stop setting goals and stop planning, just monitor the controls of what you do. Sure, it’s nice to know what you’re working on and working towards, but don’t make that the focus of anything that will stop you from taking the forks in the road. As Yogi Berra says, “When Ya come to a fork in the road…Take it!
Remember to see what emerges. And be open to it.
That’s not easy. But it can be improved with practice, and as is most always the case for me things tend to turn out OK anyway, thus I get more confident in this method.
The result is a way of living that doesn’t worry so much on striving for something, on pre-defined outcomes, and doesn’t try to force an outcome into becoming reality. It’s a way of living that is without high levels of stress, that doesn’t get disappointed or frustrated by goals not being met, that moves at a good pace without forcing things or despairing at mistakes or plans gone wrong.
It’s a life of simplicity redefined, and I’m loving it.
Can ya dig it!?! I knew that chu would!
All Aboard, “The LiFeTrain!”
One thing I know and I believe with every fiber in my body. We, as in people make the plan(s) but GOD makes the decisions. Amen
Have a blessed week