Have You Seen This Movie: “Death of A Relationship”
on March 5th, 2009 at 12:50 amHey LifeTrain passengers, is this a familiar blockbuster movie?
Scene I: You hurt me.
Scene II: Because you hurt me, I hurt you.
Scene III: You hurt me even more because I just hurt you, so I hurt you even more.
Then you hurt me; then I hurt you; then you hurt me because I just hurt you, so I hurt you more, etc. …
The point: It’s easy to act cold/hurtful/stonewalling to someone who you feel has said or done something you perceive as cold/hurtful/stonewalling to you.
But that’s the point. That’s the easy thing to do. Basically, most of us people as a species aren’t mean. We are weak. It takes effort to consciously, openly, bravely, warmly speak up about the hurt we feel before things spiral negatively downward.
Yes, it takes effort to take the high road and to express our vulnerabilities and concerns with warmth and candor. But this effort is worth it … because love and connection are your true sources for happiness—not money, not shoes, not cars… and definitely not the satisfaction of being right about someone or something. (Yes, I know that last one really sometimes does feel as if it will bring us happiness … but in the end it brings us more misery than glory.)
Let’s try this, the next time someone we care about does something that we feel isn’t very caring at all—Let’s put in a brave effort and kill that relationship deal breaker while it’s still small.
Yep, this was a mirror moment for me. If only we could just get this down…oh well, fall down…
GET UP, keep moving…
All Aboard…the LifeTrain…