Well passengers today, as promised we are stopping the train at the Lawoffice station. Today we continue with our recurring offer of Legal tips (Legally Speaking with Attorney Ewing Carter III). I am going to spare you our on-going debate as to who is the superior athlete at the beginning of each of these interviews and get right to it. But first…
KICK IT (the youtube music) “OR” better yet go to the LifeTrain’s own personal radio station see right corner…ALL ABOARD!
Here we are at the legal station, let’s pick EC III’s brain. And remember feel free to comment and or send in some questions. Hey, free is free! But, on the real, if you have friends and relatives in the North Carolina, Piedmont Triad, tell them the LifeTrain conductor HIGHLY recommends this guy! Like he says…”He takes it personal!” (www.ecarterlaw.com ). He’s not much of an athlete but, in a court of Law, you definitely want this guy between you and the Judge.
EC III: HELLO!!! I can hear you! I can whip you in anything from jacks to hop scotch to the hoop! Chuckie: Whatever dude! Listen, with all the hype about football injuries, concussions and such, before we get started today I have a question. If my godson, EC IV was back in high school or even at Hampton Univ., where he’s a student
now, and he told you that he wanted to play football, would you allow him to play? I asked this question here on the “Train,” and you know how crazy I was when we played in high school……yep!……. and how much you admired me…. (grinning)….oops, I’m getting off track…What are your thoughts on this issue before we begin this week’s topic on “Legally Speaking.”
EC III: I would let him play in high school, if that’s what he wanted. I began playing when I was nine (9) years old. Football helped finance my undergraduate degree and I was able to meet some very good friends, so the experience was good for me. But I think that starting to play tackle football in college for the first time, is ill-advised, and I would be against it.
Chuckie: Ok, cool. I was pondering over if there was a CPD III would I let him play. More on that in another day’s post. Now, here’s the deal for today. I pumped you in terms of your one ability that I can vouch for, the law and being a Lawyer. And I was thinking how I prepare to speak with my Doctor, accountant and even my minister. I prepare with notes and even images showing my doctor “where it hurts”. Now there is a question in here somewhere. How important is it for the passengers to understand the importance of coming totally clean to one’s attorney? EC III: Well Mr. Conductor, a good conversation piece. As an attorney I’m actually glad you brought this up; in a way I get to purge.
EC III: We have all heard a portion of this phrase recited by a Clerk of Court to a testifying witness about to take the stand: “Please place your left hand on the Bible and raise your right hand — Do you solemnly swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God? And this is your solemn promise or affirmation? Answer: “I do.” Chuckie: Right, ok…
EC III: Well for the sake of understanding let’s create a scenario: You have a looming legal problem that you’ve procrastinated about for some time. You’ve finally called a lawyer and scheduled and office consultation to discuss the matter and you’re feeling apprehensive, distrustful, and somewhat embarrassed by the problem. You were hoping that the problem would just go away or resolve itself over time — but it hasn’t. Now, you’re about to meet this lawyer who you’ve heard about, but don’t know. Your thoughts are — how much is this going to cost? Do I have to appear in court and testify? How long does this entire process take? What is the likely outcome? Do I have the right lawyer?
EC III: These are all normal thoughts and concerns, now let’s use them to your advantage during your first meeting with your prospective attorney.
Rule #1: Begin by telling your lawyer everything about your case from the beginning to the end. Well, you may wonder: Why do I have to tell this person everything? Some of this stuff is personal and none of his business, and should not have anything to do with my case. ….If those are your thoughts, you may be mistaken.
While you’re sitting across from the lawyer evaluating whether you want to hire them, they are deciding whether they want you as a client. I can say from my own personal experience, that an important element in
determining whether I choose to represent someone or not is: that person’s ability to be forthcoming and honest about their problem. As human beings, none of us are mind readers. If you don’t tell your lawyer, doctor, accountant, or any professional, everything about your case, regardless of how bad you think it is…. you are setting yourself up for disappointment. I’ve heard a lot of “stuff” in legal cases over the years. However, It’s somewhat amazing how a good legal remedy can be fashioned around a bad set of facts. For this to happen, the lawyer must be made aware of everything that has happened and should not have to guess what happened, or waste time persuading the client “to tell it all.” It is frustrating and embarrassing to be working with someone and to get “blind-sided” by a crucial fact that now hurts your case, because your legal counsel wasn’t put on notice and had time to prepare for it. So remember, your answer to the question: Do you solemnly swear to tell your lawyer the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God, concerning the facts of your case? “I do.”
Tell Your Lawyer the truth! The whole truth! Nothing but the truth!
Chuckie: Well, once again, good stuff Mr. Law guy! The whistle is blowing so…All Aboard! EC III: Must you be so loud?
Oh passengers before we pull out, in case you were wondering, I am to this day the superior athlete! And since I control the content of the LifeTrain, there will be no rebuttal!!! LOL!
And that’s the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth!
Welcome back to another week on the Train, the LifeTrain. This week may I suggest the following for us…this week and beyond, “CARPE DIEM!”
Don’t forget to start your music…see radio button right.
As you board the train this week I hand you a white business card with simple black lettering. It reads:
Don’t wait for extraordinary opportunities. Seize common occasions and make them great!~Orison Swett Marden
One of the reasons I started to blog eight years ago was to hold myself accountable. As the days go by, I want to spread the word to continue to
raise my personal accountability level.
This concept has enabled me to take chances that I never could have imagined. This experience has benefited me greatly. I initiated contact with strangers who are now my closest friends.
I have done things that brought smiles to people having a boring, routine day. I have been able to introduce myself to others in a more confident way. I even got the opportunity to start a ministry: www.PRAYING4YOU.org.
If you need a little help putting yourself out there and becoming more assertive, you may find these reminders helpful:
1. Not trying guarantees you won’t get what you want.
Part of the reason why people hesitate to make an initial move in any situation is their fear of rejection.
If you’re in a big group of people and want to share your idea, you face the fear of rejection. If you want to share your feelings with someone you care about, you face the fear of rejection. If you want to ask for a promotion in a job, you face the fear of rejection.
MERRY MONDAY! Don’t forget this, this week….
However, if you do not act, you’ll never know if they would’ve accepted your offer. Not being assertive and letting the moment slip away gives you a 100% chance of not getting what you want.
2. People aren’t looking to hurt you.
Many of the negative outcomes we imagine are, in fact, imaginary. The majority of people are going to be polite once you say hi to them or initiate conversation. Many times people will do what they can to fulfill your request.
From what I’ve experienced, people feel terrible if they have to reject you—but sometimes it is a good thing when they do. You wouldn’t want a potential date to accept your invitation unless the person was interested, right?
3. We don’t need other people’s approval.
The girl you tried to talk to tells you to get lost. The group laughs at your idea. These are risks worth taking to seize possibilities.
4. Strangers around the situation aren’t paying attention.
Sometimes when we hold back, it’s because we feel self conscious with people watching. But think about it—do strangers really care about what you’re doing? Most of the time, they’re not even paying attention. If they are, so what? Does it really matter?
I started conversing with someone on the bus today and so many people turned their heads towards me that I thought I woke everyone up. I decided to tune them out because their thoughts didn’t affect the outcome of my conversation.
Even if they had some sort of judgment, they were entitled to that. It didn’t affect me.
5. The three-second rule can work wonders.
Ideally, it is good to talk to someone within three seconds of seeing them so that anxiety can’t form in your mind. Once more time elapses, it becomes more difficult. Save yourself the trouble and act as soon as the instinct arises.
6. Accept mistakes and don’t be too hard on yourself.
All Aboard! This week….The LifeTrain!
I’m pretty sure I have said things that were a bit awkward or with the wrong tone of voice. Making mistakes is a part of learning how to become assertive.
At some point, everyone has said something that felt like the wrong thing. No matter how badly you messed up, feel positive about yourself because you took a chance.
7. Realize your negative thoughts aren’t facts.
Nothing holds us back like negative self talk. Find your own personal way to overcome the negative idea.
It may help to mentally isolate the negative emotion and realize it’s separate from you. What works for me is to imagine a metaphorical mirror that reflects everything I suspect people are thinking about me. I then put a cover over the mirror to avoid that trap. Our actions and words stem from our mindset.
When I have a hard time being assertive, I remember that moment when I didn’t share my feelings and a girl I loved slipped away. Now I ask myself: Would I rather risk rejection, or have to wonder, “What if?”
All Aboard! It’s the beginning of the week and as such I would like to start you out with a few thoughts to ponder and meditate on this week. But first, the music, See the radio button , right hand upper corner!
Sometimes we let affection go unspoken and our love go unexpressed. Especially towards those we love the best. This week why not show a little love to those who need to know that they are
Not a sermon, just thought….
loved. Why? Because the most painful love there is, is the love left unshown. A love that cannot be expressed, affection left unknown. The love that withholds touching, afraid of what it would say, and the most painful thing about unexpressed love is it never fades away.
Thought for the week:
You can share a meal, a movie, a moment and give yourself a break from any stress, anger or sadness from this week. You don’t have to carry it through every moment of your day. Don’t worry—if you feel you need to remember it, you’ll still be able to recall it later. But as you allow yourself pockets of peace, shared with people you love, you may find you need that story a lot less.
Have a great week, I wish you all a Love that will never end…