April 27, 2015
All Aboard! Merry Monday! Welcome back aboard the LifeTrain. This week…let’s live in the present. And speaking of the present as you read this article, for your enjoyment here on the Train we have piped in music! Click the Radio button located in the upper right hand and enjoy the sounds as you read articles here.
Right at this moment is “YOUR LIFE!”.
Ah…Coffee and music….
Don’t forget to click the radio button and enjoy Coffee and music as you read! All Aboard!
Right at this moment is your life you might wonder ‘when will my life get better’? or ‘when will I get over this’? ‘when will things improve’? If you are wondering those things, you are wasting your life. Because the only time that
you have power over, is right now, right at this second.
Only right now, right at this second, do you have power to change.
If you feel sad, try to distract your mind. Do something small right now, to make you feel better. Try to focus on right now. By staying with the present, you become in full control of your life. And therefore in better control, of making better life plans for the future.
There is no magical place, in the future when things will get better, it is now. As this is all that you have power over.
One of the biggest reasons for stress, anxiety, is being in a situation that you feel is out of your control. It can feel overwhelming. But the truth is, in most every day circumstances, you have the power right now, to be how you want to be, to feel how you want to.
Live in your moment…now.
It is up to you whether you choose to be happy or sad. You can change your mind in an instant. The power and the choice is yours.
If you are feeling low. Do something NOW which YOU enjoy. Don’t worry about the future. Or sit in reflection on the past. You cannot change the past. You can shape the future, but it has not happened yet. Why waste today? And the joy that you could experience today, by focusing on joy that might, or might not happen tomorrow?
Have something nice to eat, go for a walk, see something beautiful, be that, architecture, art, wildlife, see the beauty that is all around you. Have a candle lit bath, indulge yourself. If you are feeling low, now is the time, to put extra effort into recharging your energy.
By focusing on what might happen in the future, or sitting in reflection of the past, you are wasting your life. Because life, your life, is simply now. Right now, right as you are reading this, at this very second. This is you.
So passengers, the point for this week is, be with the present, take control of your life, focus on now, and you will learn that the secret of true happiness really does come from within.
All Aboard! The LifeTrain!
April 13, 2015
“Worry pretends to be necessary but serves no useful purpose.” ~Eckhart Tolle
Why not listen to some smooth sounds as you ride the Train today! See the RADIO BROADCAST PLAYER – RIGHT CORNER…. All ABoard!
Hey Passengers, welcome back aboard. The other day a good friend from back home (Ohio) called me hysterically crying. She felt certain she just blew a second job interview, and she’d hit a breaking point.
She’d been struggling for months, just barely paying her bills and wondering if she could afford to keep her apartment.
Every purchase had become an exercise in extreme deliberation. In fact, I’m fairly certain that when I visited last, I saw her stressing in the grocery store about whether she really needed that box of Twinkies that beckoned from the shelf.
Now here she was, hyperventilating, recounting in explicit detail all the things she’d done wrong in this interview.
The interviewer looked disgusted, she said—he was probably thinking she was incompetent. He asked her questions in an abrupt way—he was trying to trip her up. He didn’t respond when she made conversation on the way to the door—he most likely hated her and couldn’t wait to get rid of her.
Having gone through countless interviews with multiple companies after sending out dozens of resumes, she was just plain exhausted and starting to feel desperate.
As she recalled the anxiety she felt in this encounter, I visualized her sitting vulnerably in front of his desk, and my heart went out to her. I imagined she felt a lot like Tom Smykowski from Office Space when he was interviewing with the efficiency experts to save his job—pre-Jump-to-Conclusions mat.
“I deal with the “CENSORED” customers so the engineers don’t have to! I have people skills! I am good at dealing with people! Can’t you understand that? What the “CENSORED” is wrong with you people!?”
Twenty minutes out of the pressure cooker, she was drowning in fears about what it would mean to not get an offer. She may have to move back in with her parents. She’d need to ask her also unemployed boyfriend for financial help. She’d have to develop a taste for spam, ramen noodles, or maybe even cat food.
Worst of all, when she inevitably failed, she’d have to acknowledge it was all her fault for blowing this interview.
About ten minutes in, I realized that comforting her was not an option.
She didn’t believe me when I told her she’d done her best and she shouldn’t be hard on herself. She felt sure there was no other way to look at the situation; the interviewer was sitting in his office stroking his handlebar mustache and laughing maniacally about the inept woman he had no intention of hiring.
She was talking herself in circles, alternating between statements of certainty—that all had been lost—and asking me what I thought might happen, as if perhaps there was still hope if only an outsider would verify it often enough.
But whenever I suggested that it’s never over until it’s over, she plummeted back into prophetic despair, convinced her inadequacy only allowed for one disappointing outcome.
Just then, between tears and speculative conclusions, call waiting beeped in. She got the job.
I could feel her immense relief. From 500 miles away, I felt her heart rate slow down, her erratic thinking simmer, and her narrow vision of doom expand into a blend of shock, euphoria, and excited anticipation.
I felt it all along with her. I’d been an accomplice to her panic attack, after all.
As I thought about how unnecessary all of the worrying had been—and how I wished she didn’t put herself through that—I realized I’d been in her shoes before. There have been many times when I’ve felt overwhelmed by a sense of powerlessness and desperate to feel some type of control.
There have been times when I’ve asked people for their opinions and then felt unsatisfied until I heard exactly what I wanted to hear. When I’ve made assumptions about negative things to come and then obsessed over what I could do to prevent it, or what I should have done to avoid it.
In retrospect, all that mental busy work did very little to change what was coming.
It wasn’t even slightly useful or productive, and it definitely didn’t soften the blow if my fears came true and something went wrong or didn’t pan out.
In fact, it only exacerbated the situation, because worrying essentially began the disappointment retroactively.
If you worry and nothing’s wrong, you’ve wasted precious time over nothing. If you worry and something is wrong, you’ve still wasted precious time.
Every time we use the present to stress about the future, we’re choosing to sacrifice joy today to mourn joy we might not have tomorrow.
It may seem like we’re creating solutions or somehow protecting ourselves from pain, but in all reality, we’re just causing ourselves more of it.
Perhaps the key is to challenge that instinctive sense of fear we feel when we start thinking about uncertainty. When I look back at the most fulfilling parts of my life, I realize most of them took me completely by surprise.
I may not have gotten everything I wanted, but I’ve wanted what I’ve gotten more than often enough to compensate. The unknown may have provided some heartache, but it’s also provided adventure and excitement.
For every time I’ve felt disappointed, there’s been another moment when I’ve felt a sense of wonder. Those are the moments we live for—when all of a sudden we see the world through new eyes in a way we could never have known to predict.
Uncertainty is the cost of that deeply satisfying, exhilarating, spontaneous sense of awe.
It would be easy to say that mindfulness is the answer to worrying. If you’re truly immersed in the present moment, there wouldn’t be any reason to fixate on what might be coming. But I suspect it’s inevitable we’ll do that from time to time. We’re only human, after all.
Maybe a better suggestion is a combination of being in the moment and trusting in the one to follow.
We can’t always control what it will look like, but we can know that more often than not, it will lead to something good if we’re open to it. When it doesn’t, we’ll get through it—and faster if we haven’t already overwhelmed ourselves with what-ifs and worst-case scenarios.
On the other side of worry, there’s trust. We can’t always trust in specifics, but we can trust in ourselves.
Merry Monday Passengers…
All Aboard!!! The LifeTrain!!!
April 11, 2015
All Aboard! Welcome passengers. Today I make an assumption, that we’ve all heard of Mother Teresa. If not, CLICK then come back for the rest of today’s ride.
Enjoy today’s Post while listening to “LIFETRAIN RADIO”
I was in conversation with a friend recently with Mother Teresa being the predominant subject of our talk. I mentioned that I liked quoting her. I mentioned that for me the common theme of Mother Teresa words reflect her work with the lonely, the sick, the dying and the destitute. Her unending love came through in her work and in her words.
She was forever compassionate towards the loneliness felt by “wealthy” people, who on the surface had it all. She was also very concerned about the breakdown of families.
Here is a collection of her words which say it all:
Not a Sermon…Just a Thought…
Every time you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing.
I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.
If we want a love message to be heard, it has got to be sent out. To keep a lamp burning, we have to keep putting oil in it.
Do not think that love, in order to be genuine, has to be extraordinary. What we need is to love without getting tired.
Everybody today seems to be in such a terrible rush, anxious for greater developments and greater riches and so on, so that children have very little time for their parents, parents have very little time for each other, and in the home begins the disruption of peace of the world.
It is easy to love the people far away. It is not always easy to love those close to us. It is easier to give a cup of rice to relieve hunger than to relieve the loneliness and pain of someone unloved in our own home. Bring love into your home for this is where our love for each other must start.
If you can’t feed a hundred people, then feed just one.
Even the rich are hungry for love, for being cared for, for being wanted, for having someone to call their own.
Let us always meet each other with smile, for the smile is the beginning of love.
Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty.
Love begins at home, and it is not how much we do… but how much love we put in that action.
Peace begins with a smile.
Spread love everywhere you go. Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier.
The biggest disease today is not leprosy or tuberculosis, but rather the feeling of being unwanted.
The most terrible poverty is loneliness and the feeling of being unloved.
Some people come into your life as a Blessing…Others as a Lesson…
The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread.
The success of love is in the loving – it is not in the result of loving. Of course it is natural in love to want the best for the other person, but whether it turns out that way or not does not determine the value of what we have done.
There is more hunger in the world for love and appreciation in this world than for bread. We think sometimes that poverty is only being hungry, naked and homeless. The poverty of being unwanted, unloved and uncared for is the greatest poverty. We must start in our own homes to remedy this kind of poverty.
Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody, I think that is a much greater hunger, a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat.
Good works are links that form a chain of love.
In this life we cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love.
Mother Teresa’s message of love and hope lives on – it is now up to all of us to continue her work and make the world a better place.
All Aboard! The LifeTrain!
April 8, 2015
The Only Thing You Can Genuinely Be Is You…
Hey Passengers, welcome back aboard the LifeTrain…and enjoy some music with this post either from here see radio button upper right of this page or listen in from tune in radio:
Did you ever see sister act? Well here’s a quote I noted from the movie: “Do you know how sometimes it’s as if you have to be yourself or you’ll just burst?” – Sister Act
You know the people that I like best? The ones that you can tell, deep down, are just being themselves. That aren’t swayed by fads or trends or insecurities. That march to the beat of their own drummer. pa rum pum pum pum, pa rum pum pum pum… That are happy and content no matter what anyone else thinks.
As I journey through life I often hear one phrase over and over:
“I want to be the next _____________.”
The blank would be filled with the name of some latest-and-greatest, or some past master. It’s good to have role models but, don’t confuse the model for the actual thing. Those models capitalized on their own unique gifts and world view. We should be doing the same. They may have started out with more than you. Or they may have started out with less. Just the fact that you have the freedom to be reading these words puts you miles ahead of most of the world. It’s up to us to get the most out of what we have.
What Should We Do?
We often approach a situation by looking at how it would we handled by someone else. It might be helpful to explore how someone we admire would approach it, just to get some perspective. But trusting ourselves and our own judgment is crucial to success.
Let’s Try this…
Imagine that we are going to be magically teleported to some random foreign country. We have 30 minutes to formulate a plan in our heads before we’re whisked away. we’ll be given the equivalent of $100 in local currency.
What would our plan entail? Would we:
- Be thinking about shelter, and the pragmatics of surviving?
- Focus on how to use the money to hire others to help us?
- Not concern ourselves with details, but be thinking about all the great local cuisine?
The way we plan your imaginary excursion should tell us a lot about how we think. What we know about our skills. Where your weaknesses are.
How we tackle the unknown is a clue into how we approach life.
First and Foremost, We Are We, I am me!
We have to work in the framework of reality, no matter how hard it might be. The reality is that I am me and you are you — not someone else.
Instead of trying to figure out how to be the next someone else, I am constantly focusing on being the first me. Being the first in your own success is so much better than being the hand-me-downs of someone else’s.
So passengers, this week, won’t you join me…I am looking forward to getting to know the first you!
Leave a comment…just click the comment button. I’d love to hear from you!
All Aboard! The LifeTrain!