ALL ABOARD!!! Welcome Passengers. Today we look at “RUMORS”…Although rumors and gossip may sometimes be innocent, they can be hurtful for everyone involved. Avoiding rumors entirely is next to impossible, as it is human nature to talk about other people when they are not around. However, you can control what information you are willing to share and also help set the tone of a conversation about another person. Whether it’s in the workplace or among your circle of friends, not only do you have to deal with people spreading rumors, but also the rumors that have to do with you. We will look at rumors and gossip here on the train periodically but, for today let’s get things started by allowing me to introduce you to someone. KICK IT!
My name is gossip. I have no respect for Justice. I maim without killing. I break hearts and ruin lives. I am cunning and malicious and gather strength with age. The more I am quoted, the more I am believed. I flourish at every level of society. my victims are helpless, they cannot protect themselves against me because I have no name and no face. To track me down is impossible. The harder you try,…the more elusive I become. Once I tarnish a reputation, it is never quite the same. I topple governments and wreck marriages. I ruin careers, cause sleepless nights, heartaches and indigestion. I spawn suspicion and generate grief. I make innocent people cry on their pillows. even my name hisses. I am called Gossip. Office Gossip. Shop Gossip. Party Gossip. I make headlines and heartaches. Before you repeat a story ask yourself, Is it true? Is it fair? Is it necessary? If not, don’t say it….
I’ve been a victim before. True story…A long…WELL real long time ago I decided that I was going to lose weight and get sexy…LOL! Yes we are talking real long here. So anyway…I did…and well I REALLY did lose… I will post a picture on my wall called before. Anyway, being a goal oriented person and upcoming class reunions I did my thing. Well, low and behold, some folks in a “CHURCH!!!” I was attending spread a rumor that I was on…wait for it…wait for it…CRACK!!! LOL! Folks was looking at me all crazy and what not…I didn’t know what was going on…until I found out I was a “CRACK HEAD!!!”. Dang, man…wish I could find some crack now I could show nuff stand to lose a few!!! It was very hurtful at the time but I ALWAYS say eventually there is humor in hurt and tragedy….LOL!!!
ALL ABOARD!!! Today’s Tuesday Tip: How to stay positive and happy!
Hey Passengers, Are you truly happy? Do you even know what it means to be happy and what it takes to achieve happiness? These are important questions for anyone who is seeking happiness to ask themselves. I live my life to maintain my own happiness while trying my best to not cause unhappiness to anyone else. If you want to be happy you need to understand that you can be happy and that you should be happy. Many people make the mistake of believing that they don’t deserve happiness and accept their unhappy state as their destiny. The truth of the matter is that happiness, like anything else in life, needs to be nurtured. The following are a few tips that I follow to create happiness in my life.
Understand what it is that will make you happy. Everyone has unique requirements for attaining happiness and what makes one person happy may be very different from what makes someone else happy. Revel in your individuality and do not worry about whether or not your desires are comparable to those of your peers.
Make a plan for attaining goals that you believe will make you happy. Your mood will very likely increase as you pursue your goal because you will feel better about yourself for going after something you value.
Surround yourself with happy people. It is easy to begin to think negatively when you are surrounded by people who think that way. Conversely, if you are around people who are happy their emotional state will be infectious.
When something goes wrong try to figure out a solution instead of wallowing in self pity. Truly happy people don’t allow set backs to affect their mood because they know that with a little thought they can turn the circumstances back to their favor.
Spend a few minutes each day thinking about the things that make you happy. These few minutes will give you the opportunity to focus on the positive things in your life and will lead you to continued happiness.
It’s also important to take some time each day to do something nice for yourself. Whether you treat yourself to lunch, take a long, relaxing bath or simply spend a few extra minutes on your appearance you will be subconsciously putting yourself in a better mood.
Finding the humor in situations can also lead to happiness (my favorite!!!). While there are times that require you to be serious, when it is appropriate, find a way to make light of a situation that would otherwise make you unhappy.
Maintaining your health is another way to achieve happiness. Being overweight or not eating nutritious foods can have a negative effect on your mood. Additionally, exercise has been known to release endorphins that give you a feeling of happiness.
Finally, it is important to understand that you deserve happiness. Those who believe that they are not worthy of happiness may subconsciously sabotage their efforts to achieve happiness. If necessary, tell yourself each day that you deserve to be happy and remind yourself what steps you will take to achieve the happiness you desire.
Happiness is hard to define but most people are aware of whether they are happy or not. Many people believe that happiness is a form of luck and that some people are destined to be happy while others are destined to be unhappy. I try to incorporate the tips above into my life and have had great success in achieving happiness. The tips in this article are small but meaningful steps that you can take each day to lead you to true happiness.
NOW! Hop off this train and “Don’t worry, be happy!”
OR WE COULD ALWAYS HIT THE ISLANDS AND DRINK SOME RED RED WINE!!! May I have this dance?
All Aboard! As you board the train today I am Announcing the LifeTrain Online Book Club!
An internet community for book lovers (or at least likers).
“The man who doesn’t read good books has no advantage over the man who can’t read them.” ~ Mark Twain
The “LifeTrain” Online Book Club won’t have a specific theme or target group. I (your conductor) promise to be open to suggestions on how to start and grow the club so “LEAVE COMMENTS!” (lower left see the “comment” link).
Short on time, who isn’t so…AUDIO BOOKS to the rescue!
We all know that reading books is an informative and worthwhile pastime, but we all know that we’re crunched for time, all the time. So how can you incorporate books into your busy lifestyle, especially if you’re in a book club? Here are a few tips for using audio books to catch up on the latest trends in your industry, or to stay in tune with the popular best-sellers lists. Confession…shameful confession. This is how I do the bulk of my reading…you know…IPAD…ITunes.
Audio books are excellent because you can listen to them while engaged in other tasks. Reading a book while walking is tough, and reading while driving is essentially impossible (unless you’re in gridlock traffic!), but you can easily listen to audiobooks while walking or driving around town on your commute. If you take the bus or subway to work, this is also an excellent time to listen to your audiobooks. Most people commute at least an hour a day, so listening to audio books creates tons of “reading” time that you wouldn’t otherwise have! This makes it easy for you to save time while keeping up with your book club reading!
Depending on your reading speed, audio books can also be faster than regular reading. If you are a bit of a slow reader, but good at paying attention to spoken words, you may find that audio books go by much more quickly than your regular reading. This also opens up much more time for you to complete other chores or listen to even more audio books.
Audio books are a lifesaver and a time-saver because they allow you to “read” books while getting other things done at the same time. Instead of requiring your undivided attention, audio books let you get away with doing a few other things while you are listening to them. Additionally, they may be much faster than regular reading for many people. This helps save time for book club members or people reading audio books for fun!
It’s easy to see that audio books save you time–and an audio book club membership can save you money! Consider buying individual audio books or joining an audio book club to catch up on your reading, get through book club readings faster, or open up more time for finishing projects at work or at home. You can buy individual audio books from Audio Book Offers or take advantage of the Audible Subscription Offer that lets you download 1 audiobook each month for a low membership fee. Start saving money and time with audio books today! AND…Alot of Audio books are available for…wait for it…wait for it…FREE!!! @ your public library.
I hope we will make friends with people all over the world who love to read and discuss all kind of books. Book clubs bring together bookworms of all ages, backgrounds and literary persuasions. I am looking forward launching into enthralling plotline debates, argue about our favorite authors and use “our” club’s online forums to tell other readers which parts made you laugh, cry and vow to write our own great American novel.
Anyway, regardless of your choice of format come on aboard and join the club! Send me email that your in at [chuckie @ chuckiedaniel dot com]. Feel free to put a book of your choice on the list for consideration.
Initial LifeTrain Online Book Club Guidelines:
This book group will read works of fiction, poetry, and creative nonfiction. Authors whose work is selected will be reached out to for an interview or acknowledgement.
In our busy lives, time is valuable. If you are reading the current selection and don’t care for it, try giving it 100 pages before you quit. If you decide that you still don’t like it, you may still opt to participate in the online discussion. Sometimes a discussion with others can take you back to the book and allow you a different access point.
We come to the group as equals. All have an opportunity to read and express thoughts and feelings.
There is no truth when discussing a book. There are no right answers. We all read the same words, but we each read a different book. We filter meaning through our own life experiences and come together to broaden our own world.
Different perspectives make the discussion interesting. Although we may have opposing points of view, we respect the ideas of each person. This is an opportunity to see the world through the eyes of the authors as well as other members of the group.
We enhance our understanding of the book through discussions that focus on the material in the book. Any branch we follow initiates from the themes and ideas in the book and stays within those parameters. If you have related “items” to share, they add to the discussion.
Get to know new people, enjoy stimulating discussion, and discover wonderful books. Learn from each other and share your thoughts, reflections, and responses.
We are social creatures, born needing our parents, our families, and our communities. And our most cherished dream is finding that one special someone with whom to share our life. Hopefully, all others enrich our lives and make it worth living.
Welcome aboard passengers. I am greeting you with hugs and a smile. All Aboard.
I am a very strong advocate for mental health. I want to be part of the charge of dispelling the negative stigma, especially for men, and black men in particular to seek help. I want to end the past cultural solution of solving depression and internal hurts with the old “Grab you a drink and a woman”…man-up!
We all want to love, we all want to be loved but, this basic human need becomes distorted–even disturbed– for people with narcissistic and Borderline Personality Disorder. I sat down with Dr. Emily Hath, PhD. recently to discuss how BPD (BPD defined: CLICK) is often overlooked or even mis-diagnosed in men. Of course being a man this is of special interest to me.
Being a man I know we are much less likely to get help because of gender bias and ignorance. However, those of you who ride the train with me know that I am a big proponent for seeking wise counsel to include psycho-therapy if/when necessary. There is no shame.
Chuckie: Dr. Hath!
Dr. Hath: Chuckie!
Dr. Hath: Chuckie, I told you…we’re family now, you can call me Emily. Or Dr.E as you started referring to me in our last chat.
Chuckie: [stupid grin] ok Dr. E!
Chuckie: Dr. E What do we know about men with BPD, what are the latest stats?
Dr. Hath: Well Chuckie, the latest research shows that indeed the gender split is not 75% female, 25% male as is stated in earlier reports. The prevalence is nearly 50/50. And we realize that have a long way to go until we know how to diagnose and treat borderline men.
Chuckie: What are some reasons why BPD in men is overlooked and why we know so little about borderline men.
Dr. Hath: Well Chuckie, men seek professional help less often. Research has shown again and again that men won’t even seek treatment for less complex but equally serious mental health problems such as depression,let alone a stigmatized disorder like BPD that calls their whole personality into question. Many men see it as “unmanly” to acknowledge feelings, especially the vulnerability and abandonment fears associated with BPD. Since fewer men seek treatment, they are not available candidates for research.
One study found that when 52 professionals from a mental health agency in California assessed patient vignettes, they were unable to accurately diagnose the presence of BPD in males–even though the symptoms were identical to those in vignettes of females.
This results, in part, in the way anger is interpreted differently depending upon whether it comes from a man or a woman. “For the most part, when women are angry they are classified as irrational, frenzied, or too emotional,” “On the other hand, men’s anger is sometimes recognized as strength and aggressiveness.”
Chuckie: What part do Cultural influences play in this?
Dr. Hath: Men are socialized not to expose their fear of abandonment or other emotional vulnerabilities, which are hallmarks of BPD. They are supposed to be macho and fearless, sexual studs seeking the maximum number of sexual conquests with a minimum of commitment. And if he does get “roped” into marriage, he’s the one who’s supposed to be on top, for fear of being called “whipped.”
Most of all, if he’s not as confident as he “should” be, or if he’s feeling alone, depressed, or scared, by the Male Code he is not supposed to let these feelings show. He is, however, permitted anger. In some circumstances, beating someone up is even the righteous thing to do.
Chuckie: [Laughter] …I can so relate Doc. Wow…
Chuckie: So what about Misdiagnosis part. Tell me more about that.
Dr. Hath: Chuckie, Imagine you’re a man whose greatest fear in the world is being abandoned, second only to the terror of looking into the mirror and seeing an empty, worthless self looking back. Imagine how hard it would be to share these emotions with the people you’re scared will reject you, let alone to admit you need professional help.
Those feeling have to go somewhere. Some men use the same outlets as borderline women do, such as making suicide threats. A great many of them (even more than women) anesthetize themselves with alcohol and harder drugs such as cocaine or methamphetamine. A subset, however, channel their feelings into their more socially acceptable cousins, rage and aggression.
Rex Cowdry, MD, the former acting deputy director of the National Institute of National Health, says, “A hallmark trait of BPD, the inability to manage inner feelings, is just as present in the male population, but is often exhibited in spousal abuse or other violent acts rather than the self-directed anger more often seen in women.”
Both men and women can express their fear of abandonment as physically aggressive rage toward the “cause” of their distress. However, men’s level of violence is more lethal. A perceived betrayal or a real or imagined act of abandonment may trigger acting out activities such as kicking down a door, forcing sexual activity, blocking the partner’s escape, and threatening the partner with a weapon. Some are involved in controlling and stalking behaviors such as bugging phones, installing secret cameras, and hiring private detectives.
This aggression often results in a misdiagnosis of antisocial personality disorder (sociopath) or, in adolescents, a conduct disorder. As a result, they don’t get the right treatment. What they do get is incarcerated. As a matter of fact, so many males with BPD have been incarcerated that a form of therapy for BPs, Dialectical Behavior Therapy, has been adapted for male offenders in correctional settings.
Chuckie: How do borderline men differ from women?
Dr. Hath: Well a Therapist friend of mine, who treats many men with BPD, says she finds that borderline men frequently engage in addictive, sexually compulsive behaviors, including regularly hiring of prostitutes, having serial affairs, going to strip clubs, obsessively viewing pornography, engaging in voyeurism or exhibitionism, and compulsive masturbation. One borderline man used high-risk sex as his form of self-harm.
The out-of-control sex was something I hated myself for, it was obsessive, it felt like an invisible hand grabbing me by the collar and dragging me off to do whatever. I needed to cause enough pain and degradation to myself. The incredible guilt of the risks I was exposing my partner to really destroyed something inside me. But when the inner loneliness was strongest, sex was the only thing that would quiet the fear.
Chuckie: Wow, Doc…I think we’ll stop here…maybe call this end of part one. Can we revisit this more later?
Dr. Hath: Of course, I hope this helps.
Chuckie: Doc, u da bomb…thank you once again.
Dr. Hath: My pleasure.
Chuckie: How can any of the passengers contact you if necessary.
Dr. Hath: Well if they are in the DC area just have them connect via you. I am sure your readership, or passengers as you call them have your contact information. We in my profession have certain adverting guidelines we have to work within so just have them contact you.
Well passengers, another therapy session in the can!
All Aboard!!! Welcome passengers, welcome to Tips 4 Tuesday here on the LifeTrain! Sometimes the tips are tech in nature, sometimes life in nature but, always the intent is to pass along tips that I , your faithful conductor hope will make you laugh, think and maybe even cry if’n (yes, I just said IF’N) you need to.
TIP FOE TUESDAY #1:Everything’s amazing and nobody’s happy…Don’t worry, be happy!
TIP FOE TUESDAY #2: Did you know…Life is like a cup of coffee
TIP FOE TUESDAY #3: Do things that are uncool. Later on, they usually end up becoming cool anyway. Oh, and I’m bringing the Jeri curl back! Get your activator ready…and some extra pillow cases!
TIP FOE TUESDAY #4: Not all who do great things for God will enter Heaven…
We know that not all who do great things for God will enter Heaven, but “only he who does the will of My Father” (Matthew 7:21). We also know that the Father’s will is “that everyone who looks to the Son and believes in Him shall have eternal life” (John 6:40). We are given the gift of eternal life because of our belief in Jesus, not because of what we do; “all our righteous acts are like filthy rags” (Isaiah 64:6).
Salvation can never be earned, it is a gift to those who believe. However, we must understand what it means to believe and what changes will occur when we believe. “You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that – and shudder” (James 2:19). A saving belief is much more than just acknowledging God’s existence or even the existence of His Son – even the demons believe this!
Belief in Jesus is never simply an intellectual understanding. Belief implies a humble surrender. We will never “look to the Son” unless we first recognize our eternally lost condition due to sin; and we will never truly “believe in Him” for salvation until we accept our complete inability to save ourselves. A drowning man will never reach up for help until he first understands and accepts his need to be rescued.
To be rescued, we must believe so completely that we abandon all other “rescuers” and cling to the only One who can truly save; “any of you who does not give up everything he has cannot be My disciple” (Luke 14:33). Giving up everything cannot save us, but true belief gives up all other sources of hope. It also reveals the trivial nature of our worldly attachments and creates an understanding that everything belongs to God. We see our life as lived for Him and desire to do ALL for His glory.
“What good is it, my brothers, if a man claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save him? … In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.”
Belief must produce a change in our life or we know it is not a true belief – it is nothing more than dead intellectual understanding! At the moment we truly believe, we are “marked in Him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit” (Ephesians 1:13), and we become “a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!” (2 Corinthians 5:17). Belief creates change through the work of the Holy Spirit!!
If we lack the evidence of a changed life, we must not focus on creating the change. This type of change becomes self-righteous “filthy rags.” Rather, we must return to the cross and place ALL our trust in Jesus, truly believing He has paid the penalty for our sin and has granted us passage through the narrow gate to eternal life. As we completely turn over control to our Heavenly Father, fruit and good deeds will abound. Our life will be forever changed, but only when we begin with a belief that saves.
Lastly, If you see someone who needs help, stop asking yourself (or them) if they need help. Instead, just help.
Well Passengers, there you have it. Tuesday’s Tips!
PASSENGERS! ALL ABOARD!!! Welcome one and all. As I greet you this Thursday I hand you a flier which reads:
THE LIFETRAIN IS A PUBLICLY OPERATED TRAIN OPEN TO ONE AND ALL. AS SUCH FEEL FREE TO COMMENT. FEEL FREE TO TOUCH BASES WITH THE CONDUCTOR, YOURS TRULY IF YOU HAVE A POST IDEA YOU’D LIKE TO SUGGEST OR WRITE-UP ON YOUR OWN AS A GUEST CONDUCTOR…ALL ABOARD!!!
Let’s face it. There are an abundance of things over which we can exert only limited control. So if we”re to overcome the various barriers that temporarily block us from objects of our desire, it’s critical to learn how to maintain emotional poise in the face of them. Even though these obstacles may temporarily deter you, you still need to hold onto your composure and doggedly continue to pursue your goals. Sure, your progress may be impeded, but it doesn’t really have to end. Although your destination may be reached later than you’d hoped, as long as you don’t falter you’ll get there all the same. When, through no fault of your own, things just don’t seem to be going your way, it’s essential that you figure out how not to lose your way.
There are times in our life when we may feel besieged by events seemingly contrived, almost demonically, to overwhelm us. Nonetheless, our capacity for control during these times–our ultimate power–is to expand our space to include such disappointments, challenges, provocations, and demands. And, despite such adversity, to hang tough and resolutely adhere to our life path.
How easy–or difficult–is this to do? In general, I’d say the ability to adapt to life’s frustrations varies in proportion to your personal evolution. Adjusting or accommodating to below-the-belt blows of “outrageous fortune” hardly hinges on some inborn personality trait either. For the most part, it simply reflects how much you’ve been able to learn from painful lessons in your past. And being able to make allowances for–and come to terms with–all that interferes with your desires doesn’t really come naturally. It’s something that requires conscious cultivation. So when something blatantly unfair happens to you, be ever-mindful of how (between your ears) you process it.
You need to carefully mull over how you’re going to respond to anything keenly felt as an injustice. Succumbing to the temptation to react with impulsive anger may offer the immediate consolation of feeling righteous, self-righteous, or morally superior. But the associated costs of taking this low road to “re-empowerment” is that it inevitably sacrifices your inner tranquility, your peace of mind. And the more you invest your vital stores of energy in getting back at whatever you perceive as having harmed you, the more likely you are to turn immediate setbacks into chronic limitations and constraints. In which case your choosing (however unwittingly) not to “get on with it,” notto move forward in your life’s journey, becomes no one’s responsibility but your own. Inadvertently, it’s you yourself that have blocked the way to personal satisfaction and fulfillment.So, when you’re suddenly taken aback by one of life’s periodic fines, how can you best respond?
Here are my three “A’s” for quickly moving beyond the unwelcome obstacles that, fortuitously, may have landed squarely on your path:
Assess. Ask yourself just how serious this particular “fine” is. Might you be exaggerating its importance? In the moment, that unwelcome “tariff” (or “life tax”) may feel awful–perhaps even catastrophic. But, upon painstaking reflection, is it possibly not that much more than an annoyance, or inconvenience? Finally, how much of your life (if any) do you actually want or need to devote to it?
Accept. Just acknowledge that you’ve been fined for, well, nothing. Remind yourself that it makes little sense to stew over whatever misfortune you’ve unexpectedly been subject to. Make up your mind not to let it bother you any more than absolutely necessary.
Act. Now that you’ve decided not to waste your mental and emotional energy by obsessing upon or brooding over your bad luck–or by ruminating about how you might retaliate–what’s the best action to take? How can you best cope with this setback? Might you work around it? Do you need temporarily to put something aside to effectively deal with it? Would it help to get a friend, or professional, to assist you? . . . Or might it suffice simply to let out a single, extended, self-compassionate sigh–and then, life-affirmatively, begin to put it all behind you?
And–once you’ve become proficient in implementing this fairly straightforward problem-resolution procedure–go ahead and give yourself an “A,” too (!).
In closing I sincerely say that given the events in my life this past year, it was my father in heaven and the words I’m sharing above that have seen me through. I hope that today’s post may come in handy to a passenger riding the LifeTrain…
This week passengers dress for Battle!!! The full armor of righteousness. This week, let’s start each and every day with getting fully dressed for battle. CLICK
The life of a soldier at war is difficult. They live under the constant threat of attack and each day they must prepare for battle. Each day they must make sure they are properly dressed to face the enemy.
In a very real sense, we are ALL at war! Every child of God faces an enemy who is determined to engage us in battle each and every day. These battles will not look the same as those we see reported in the news; “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms” (Ephesians 6:12). But the enemy we face is just as real and the attacks are just as damaging. Many of us feel defenseless against such attacks – we feel defeated with no hope of victory – but Paul tells us how to get properly dressed and stand through the battles.
“Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God.”
Yes, the attacks are going to come. But we cannot wait for the battle to begin before getting dressed and putting on our equipment. Each day (without fail!) – before the enemy has an opportunity to attack – we must “put on the full armor of God” (Ephesians 6:13).
The belt of truth protects us from the enemy’s deceptive lies which pull us down the path of worldly priorities and temptation. The breastplate of righteousness protects our heart from feeling unworthy – we are made completely worthy through faith in Jesus (Romans 3:22). The gospel of peace on our feet prepares us to share the good news of Jesus and “go and make disciples of all nations” (Matthew 28:19). This is our mission as we go into the world.
We hold up the shield of faith – which is “of greater worth than gold” (1 Peter 1:7) – to remind us of God’s faithfulness in previous battles and protect us from the constant arrows of fear. The helmet of Salvation protects our mind from debilitating doubts – “so that we may know we have eternal life” (1 John 5:13). Finally, we pick up the sword of the Spirit – the Word of God – and directly engage the enemy when necessary.
The enemy is determined to steal our joy and cause us to be ineffective soldiers for God. Let’s ruin his plan! Let’s defeat the enemy before the attacks even begin by starting each and every day with getting fully dressed for battle.
From time to time people will ask why I blog (write). My answer is always two-fold…I write to leave my legacy of help (hopefully) to mankind and…For me it’s like Therapy…
And one other thang…I’m to old for “Da Club” so my blog is now…”Da hang-out club”.
Good or bad, talented or not, I am a writer. Writers write… It can be a very cathartic process even for non writing people. If you do not know the definition of cathartic:
adjective: 1 providing psychological relief through the open expression of strong emotions; causing catharsis : crying is a cathartic release.
These times are tough and rough as leather. I encourage anyone and everyone to write down your story. Break out a laptop or a desktop and start writing about what you have endured over the last 5 years, 10 years, 20 year, whatever. You’d be amazed at what reading your own story does for your psyche and helps you deal with it even though the story itself may be tough to write and read back.
Don’t be scurred! Not everyone is leading such a fabulous life filled with fantasy, hope, love, faith, and great times. Don’t be mad. Just write what you’ve been dealing with and let out the emotions and how you feel. Most people never will do this in public because others typically don’t want to hear it. I say cool, write it because YOU can hear YOU. LOL!!! Not a sermon, just a thought.
All Aboard!!! Welcome one and all to the LifeTrain. I’m your conductor, Chuckie. Back from a long weekend and ready to get things rolling on this Tuesday, the day we pass along tips.
First up, something from one of my favorites, Zig Zigler. I chose this tip to go along with the fact that we are starting a book club here (CLICK) on the LifeTrain, Zig said:
New information makes new and fresh ideas possible. I read for the “ah-ha’s,” the information that makes a light bulb go off in my mind. I want to put information in my mind that is going to be the most beneficial to me, my family and my fellow man, financially, morally, spiritually, and emotionally. I seldom read anything that is not of a factual nature because I want to invest my time wisely in the things that will improve my life. Don’t misunderstand; there is nothing wrong with reading purely for the joy of it. Novels have their place, but biographies of famous men and women contain information that can change lives. Dr. Norman Vincent Peale’s,The Power of Positive Thinking, changed my thinking. The Bible changed my believing. Ultimately, what I have read has changed my being.” -Zig Zigler
Now, I have to admit, I do mix in Fiction into my reading selections because of the amount of technical data I have to read, I have to mix in some escapism i.e. fiction.
Hey Passengers, it’s time to (drum roll!)…Ask the Tech guy! Today the question asked of the Tech guy is about Facebook and age appropriateness. Let’s take a look:
Q. Tech guy, I know you’ve said in the past that younger kids shouldn’t be on Facebook. However, I recently saw the news story that said millions of kids are already on Facebook with their parents’ approval. Does that change your mind? I have pre-teen sons, help me decide. Thanks!
A. I had a feeling this question would come up, and I’m glad it did. This is a topic that parents need to take seriously. So thank you for asking.
Researchers at several prestigious organizations – including Microsoft Research, New York University, Northwestern University, Berkeley and Harvard – recently collaborated on a study. They polled more than 1,000 households with children between 10 and 12 years of age. Of those, 55 percent of 12 year olds were on Facebook. Additionally, 32 percent of 11 year olds and 19 percent of 10 year olds were also on the site.
Overall, an estimated 8 million children under 13 are on Facebook. That’s a startling 1 percent of Facebook’s user base.
This study surveyed parents. So, in actuality, it only counted the children whose parents know they’re on Facebook. It’s impossible to project how many children are signing on secretly.
As you may know, Facebook does have an age verification feature. When you create an account, you’re asked for your birth date. If the date indicates you’re under 13, Facebook won’t create an account.
The simple way around this is for children to lie about their age. Of course, if parents are aware their child is on Facebook, then they know they lied. In fact, the survey shows that 68 percent of parents actually helped their child set up the account. This in itself is slightly disturbing.
With so many children under 13 on Facebook, does this change my stance? No, not really. There are a lot of reasons to keep your child off Facebook.
Obviously, there’s the growing problem ofcyber bullying. Even teenagers and college students have a hard time dealing with this. Do you really want to risk your pre-teen’s emotional wellbeing?
Then, of course, there’s the opposite problem. Some people might want to get too friendly with your child. Can your child distinguish between a new friend and an online predator?
Compounding the problem, children already like to share about themselves. Facebook encourages sharing of everything, including personal information they shouldn’t give out. Unchecked, they can put themselves in serious jeopardy.
“But,” you say, “I wouldn’t let my child be on Facebook without supervision.” I’m very glad to hear that. As parents we really do need to be involved in all our children’s activities, online and offline.
For example, you could help them set up the account with proper privacy settings, security settings and a tightly controlled friend list. You could set up the account password so you’ll always have access. You might even use a program like McGruff SafeGuard that lets you monitor your child’s online activities and flag potentially suspicious people.
Those are all good things. Throw in strong time limits for computer use and you can head off many problems. In fact, you could use Facebook as a teaching tool for learning digital responsibility.
There will be plenty of time for immersive digital communication later in life. And learning good person-to-person interaction skills when you’re young will help you communicate even better online when you’re older.
Raising kids in the digital world isn’t easy. There are a lot of dangers and pitfall. There’s no one size fit all approach but, I hope this helps
And the final tip for Tuesday…Hey, for the rest of the week, no matter what. “DANCE TO THE MUSIC!”. They do: