May 27, 2008
Have you ever had someone use Toss Salad and scrambled eggs to confuse you and your ability to make a decision on something? I know the last time I bought a car the “DELETED WORDs!” car salesman tried that on me. I did my homework and I was ready for the facts and figures confusion game and the false information. Give me Google and I gotcha! Didn’t she know I was the Chuckster! I saw that attack for what it was worth and now let me pass this “DELETED WORDs!” on to my fellow passengers! Oh, and by the way the deleted word was puking buzzard and Rotten Scrambled Egg .
She began adding up the cost of the PINTO with all the accessories and came to a total. I told her I could not afford more than $3.2 million for the beautiful HOSS! She then told me that I could have the fabulous ford for$2.9 million. Ah, but that’s when the plot thickened! WHY COME SHE GONE tell me that she made an error and that with tax and delivery fees were added the beaut came up to $3.99999 million!
Couple of things, first the Blue book. be careful with this. Yep, she tried the blue book quote, but she didn’t know I had the same auto bible. She didn’t know that once you associate the mileage of this priceless chariot that you come back down to my offer! See, trying to use facts to confuse me — silly gurl! You should have seen-tid her face when I pointed this out in the book. I told her I was insulted because I felt she was deliberately trying to deceive me…me, the Chuckster! I ended up getting a great deal after I told her my custom cowboy boots were made for walking!
So, keep this in mind the next time when you order fried and get scrambled instead!
All aboard! The LiFeTrain!
May 23, 2008
Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.
Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.
Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both wives lost their children while living in the White House.
Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both Presidents were shot in the head
Now it gets really weird.
Lincoln ‘s secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedy’s Secretary was named Lincoln .
Both were assassinated by Southerners.
Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.
Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln , was born in 1808.
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.
John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln , was born in 1839.
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.
Both assassins were known by their three names.
Both names are composed of fifteen letters.
Now hang on to your seat.
Lincoln was shot at the theater named ‘Ford.’
Kennedy was shot in a car called ‘ Lincoln ‘ made by ‘Ford.’
Lincoln was shot in a theater and his assassin ran and hid in a
Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and his assassin ran and hid in a
Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.
And here’s the kicker…
A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe , Maryland
A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe.
How’s about this History lesson on the train passengers!
May 22, 2008
THREE WOMEN, TWO YOUNGER, AND ONE SENIOR CITIZEN, WERE SITTING NAKED IN A SAUNA.
SUDDENLY THERE WAS A BEEPING SOUND. THE YOUNG WOMAN PRESSED HER FOREARM AND THE BEEP STOPPED. THE OTHERS LOOKED AT HER QUESTIONINGLY.
‘THAT WAS MY PAGER,’ SHE SAID. I HAVE A MICROCHIP UNDER THE SKIN OF MY ARM.
A FEW MINUTES LATER, A PHONE RANG. THE SECOND YOUNG WOMAN LIFTED HER PALM TO HER EAR. WHEN SHE FINISHED, SHE EXPLAINED, ‘THAT WAS MY MOBILE PHONE. I HAVE A MICROCHIP IN MY HAND.’
THE OLDER WOMAN FELT VERY LOW -TECH. NOT TO BE OUT DONE, SHE DECIDED SHE HAD TO DO SOMETHING JUST AS IMPRESSIVE. SHE STEPPED OUT OF THE SAUNA AND WENT TO THE BATHROOM.
SHE RETURNED WITH A PIECE OF TOILET PAPER HANGING FROM HER REAR END. THE OTHERS RAISED THEIR EYEBROWS AND STARED AT HER. THE OLDER WOMAN FINALL Y SAID …..WELL, WILL YOU LOOK AT THAT… I’M GETTING A FAX!!
In Florida, I don’t think so!
Giant pythons capable of swallowing a dog and even an alligator are rapidly making south Florida their home, potentially threatening other southeastern states, a study said.
“Pythons are likely to colonize anywhere alligators live, including north Florida, Georgia and Louisiana,” said Frank Mazzotti, University of Florida Institute of Food and Agricultural Sciences professor, in his two-year study.
The pythons thriving in Florida are mostly Burmese pythons from Myanmar that were brought over as pets and then turned loose in the wild.
From 2002-2005, 201 of the beasts were caught by state authorities, but in the last two years the number has more than doubled to 418, Mazzotti said in his study published on the university website.
The largest python caught so far in Florida measured five meters (16.4 feet) and weighed 70 kilograms (154 pounds).
Mazzotti said the serpents, despite their awesome size, are not poisonous, but are excellent swimmers and able to cover great distances in little time. Some, trapped and released with radio transmitters, swam 60 kilometers (37 miles) in a few hours.
Highly adaptable, pythons prey on cats, dogs, hares, foxes, squirrels, raccoons and even alligators, allowing them to thrive in a variety of environments.
After populating the Florida Everglades — a vast marshland — where it is estimated they number 30,000, the giant python is now spreading across the rest of the peninsula.
“Females may store sperm, so they can produce fertile clutches for years. And a 100-something pound snake can easily be producing 60, 80 eggs a year,” said Mazzotti, adding that the reptile could eventually populate the entire southern United States.
May 20, 2008
2Day Look For Goodness
May goodness find you
Ok my fellow passengers, indulge me please; I’m feeling philosophical today. I was thinking that In everything, goodness is there, our goal is to find it. I’m sure from time to time we all deal with some very shall we say challenging personalities. During those times I truly try to realize that In every person, the best is there, our job is to recognize it. In every situation, the positive is there, our opportunity is to see it. In every problem, the solution is there, our responsibility is to provide it. In every setback, the success is there, our adventure is to discover it. In every crisis, the reason is there, our challenge is to understand it. By seeing the goodness, we’ll be very enthusiastic and our lives will be richer.
I really wanted to share those words today. Today I send out the call to my fellow passengers. Join me in this endeavor, see goodness and may goodness see you.
All Aboard, The LiFeTrain!
May 19, 2008
Ok, I told the Chinese food person, NO MSG! It gives me a “BOMB-BASTIC” headache. Guess what? Either my cantonese is off or her american needs a refreasher. Cause you guessed it.
Anyway, Like a real trooper, not wanting to let my fellow passengers down, I simply must make sure we do the right thing and start the week out (later this morning as it were) with a rousing “MERRY MONDAY!”. Despite the fact that I am dealing with a head banger at this hour, the good thing is tHe tYlENALLLL is fiNAllY Keeckin en, fINAlly my frains….
SO! I am going to promote optimisim for theese weak…I mean week…This stuff is really starting to work…Ahhh. Anyway, if the following makes absolutly NO cents…can a brutha get a “B” for trying? Hur goes, my take on Optimism:
Optimism is an outlook on life such that one maintains a view of the world as a positive place. People would say that optimism is seeing the glass “half full” of water as opposed to half empty. It is the philosophical opposite of pessimism. Optimists generally believe that people and events are inherently good, so that most situations work out in the end for the best. Kani get an amen…The sun will come out …later this morning.
A common conundrum illustrates optimism-versus-pessimism with the question, does one regard a given glass of water, filled to half its capacity, as half full or as half empty? Conventional wisdom expects optimists to reply, “Half full,” and pessimists to respond, “Half empty” (assuming that “full” is considered good, and empty, “bad”).
Another paradox sometimes associated with optimism is that the only thing an optimist cannot view as positive is a pessimist. Pessimism, however, as it acts as a check to recklessness, may even then be viewed in a positive light. Now figure that one out!
You know what…lemme stop, I’m not even making sense to myself (LAUGHTER)…Ok, I’ll stop, but I hope you get my drift…Be Optimistic…See the glass as Half Full, and make it a MERRY MONDAY!
All Aboard! The LiFeTrain…
(Now if I could just make it to the bed, oh man these PM tablets r the bomb!)
I just heard from one of our Longtime passengers, Sade, that there was a disaster that it would seem has not received proper coverage (CLICK).Â Please send up the prayers that angels and miracles will abound…In Macon!
Sade Gurl, we love ya and we will be praying for a speedy recovery down there!
Hey passengers, please join me in wishing “HAPPY BIRTHDAY” to one the most special angels on earth, Channing Carter! And the crowd goes wild, standing ovation.
Channing will soon be a junior at Hampton U. I know that soon Uncle Chuckie won’t have to worry about Medicare because Channing plans to study medicine after her undergrad, …go gurl!
I can say that it has truly been a blessing watching her grow from a little tiny baby, to now, …sniff..sniff…a beautiful young woman! She truly is special and the apple of her God Daddy’s eye. Yep, I’d cut somebody over her! Go Channing, Go Channing, it’s your birthday!
Love ya! …Uncle Chuckie
May 16, 2008
Ever had a story(s) stick with you for life? Everytime I listen to an opening line from this song, “Why can’t you be more like your Brother?”, “He was tall, slim and fine”, I remember the following story.
It was many, many Years ago. I was helping this elderly lady (a family friend) out of the backseat of a car. Unfortunately for her she was very obese, weighing at least 600 or more pounds. It was a big struggle, and kind of sad.
Anyway, now for the fun part, and look yall…this really is a funny story for me. I crack up everytime I think of it.
So, after wrestling her out of the car she said, “Thanks Corky”.
Well, Corky, is Carlton, “don’t call me Corky anymore”, “…and why do you still refer to yourself as Chuckie?”
CARLTON, is my little, 6’4 inch tall baby brother.
Anyway, I politiely told her I was Chuckie. Corky, I mean Carlton is my baby brother.
“Oh yeah right, Corky is the cute smart one…”
Hey passengers, have a great weekend: CLICK
NAIL IN THE FENCE
Make sure you read all the way down to the last sentence. …and
I have to refer back to this story from time to time. I hope it blesses you periodically as it does me. Please forgive me for the holes I’ve left and pray that I can 4give as well.
There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His Father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence. The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually
dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.
Finally the day came when the boy didn’t lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence He said, ‘You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out.
It won’t matter how many times you say I’m sorry, the wound is still there. ‘ A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one. Friends are very rare jewels, indeed. They make you smile and encourage you to succeed. They lend an ear, they share words of praise and they always want to pen their hearts to us.’
To the passengers on the LiFeTrain…YOU ARE MY FRIENDS AND I AM HONORED!